Blame - Don’t take it personally

Hey,
I had to share this story with you. One day on my way into a local supermarket I frequent (Greenlife), I paused at a table out front taking signatures on a petition for something. While I’m there an employee is returning from her lunch break and pauses to relay a story to the person next to me. She was saying that her day had taken a turn for the worse when one of the customers threw money at her rather than just handing it to her. She was upset by that because she felt she had done nothing to deserve such a thing.

After I had done my shopping I ended up in her line. I jokingly forewarned her that once she told me my total I was going to throw my money at her. She smiled and thanked me for the forewarning. When it came time to pay I just handed it to her and said I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She laughed and said that she later realized that the customer’s behavior probably didn’t have anything to do with her and that she shouldn’t have taken it personally. I agreed and wished her a better day to come.

It later dawned on me that her insight into the situation was quite profound. We are so prone to take everything personally that it distorts our thinking. We then tend to blame others for any and all negative feelings or emotions we experience from being exposed to their behavior.

This brings me to a lovely little email from Daily Om I received the other day that sums up dealing with such feelings nicely.

“As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.” - http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/printerfriendly.cgi?articleid=9097

There is another part to this that I hope to discuss in my next email to you. In the meantime I would like to wish you the best. And remember, don’t take anything personally. Or, better yet, practice not taking your thoughts too seriously. These are wonderfully liberating practices.
Best of love,
Trey

Political Reconciliation

Hello,
Happy first day of summer. I trust it is off to a good start and that you are enjoying the warm weather. Below is an email I've been working on off and on for a couple of days now and finally decided just to stop messing with and send it. I suspect I have written about it before some time ago but somehow felt compelled to revisit the subject.

I’ve been trying to stay relatively uninvolved in political goings on for a long time now, but I’m still on email lists of various activist groups that I joined during my outrage over stolen elections, the war, etc.. This does not mean I have become complacent, however. I’ve learned enough to know that I am doing the one thing I can truly do to make the world a better place by increasing my level of awareness and presence. True activism must come from a place of oneness and non-ego in order for it not to continue to feed the negativity that is breeding that which is being fought.

If you “love” the green power initiative, but “hate” those contributing to contamination of the environment, then everything you do to fight for that initiative is tainted with the negative energy that is creating that which you are fighting. The same is true for any issue whether it be the war or whatever. “If you fight madness, you become mad yourself.”

Therefore, I have remained relatively quiet despite constant email calls to take action regarding this or that. I have also remained relatively informed about what is going on in the world, however, and I have been recognizing the true nature of the issues causing the pain and suffering in the world at this time. This is where reconciliation comes in.

I have mixed feelings about sharing this type of information because of the negativity it may bring, but I know that many people may feel that what I have been sharing over the last year or so does not “fit” with what’s going on in the world. Hopefully, broaching this subject will illustrate how what I have been saying applies to the world situation and serve to shed some light on what we each one of us can do to bring about positive change in the world (which I think is what we all truly want). With that in mind read on and know that I will close on a very optimistic note.

Based on an investigative report from a BBC reporter (Greg Palast), who has done a great deal of investigation on the people currently in power in the US, there is a very strong connection between the Iraq war and big oil companies. The gist of the story was that the Bush administration had planned on privatizing the oil in Iraq once Saddam was taken out of power. However, James Baker (one of Bush Sr.’s staff) was serving as Exxon Mobile’s lead attorney at the time and threatened to sue if they did that. Then proposed that the Iraq oil supply be “controlled.” The end result? Gas prices reach record highs and big oil companies reach record profits and everyone in a position to make it happen gets rich. Everyone else, whether that be the gas buying public or the people of Iraq, suffer the consequences of that decision. This might also explain the reluctance to leave Iraq for fear of the loss of control over the oil there.

At about the same time I read this report, I received an email from the mother of an Iraq war veteran whose son came back in a bad state. He suffers from severe PTSD and has had difficulty receiving the care he needs from the VA. She mentioned in her email that many of the friends her son served with in Iraq have also come home and either committed suicide, turned abusive to their wives and children, or become lost in addiction to alcohol or other drugs. As a result, this mother has been living in a state of fear that her son may too commit suicide because of his pain over what he has seen and done in the past. She has been camping out in DC in an attempt to bring an end to the war and make sure veterans receive proper care once they return.

After reading her email, I felt compelled to help, so I offered to send her son a copy of Practicing the Power of Now to help him break free of the past (the author, Eckhart Tolle, was also on the verge of suicide when his life changing event occurred). She gave me his mailing address and I mailed him a copy. I have not heard from him but I can only hope that it will help in some small way.

So, how do I reconcile all of this madness? I recognize it all for what it truly is: unconsciousness. These people in positions of power that appear to be profiting from this war are after the same thing the rest of us are after – happiness. They naively think that more money will bring them what they seek. They are still bound by ego. However, no matter how many billions of dollars they accumulate, it’s still not enough. They still have not found happiness, which creates internal conflict for them. I suspect they are not totally blind to the misery being caused by their quest, which may lead to even more internal conflict. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that some of the world’s most unhappy people are also some of the wealthiest. Their lives still feel empty despite all the worldly goods.

This may be too much for some of you to swallow since you may still be under the impression that money is a key to happiness and that if you just made a bit more everything would be alright. I too used to feel this way. But it doesn’t really matter how much money you have if you are still in an unconscious, or ego dominated, state of mind. The more you make, the more you spend and you stay in the exact same place you are in now with more “stuff” to show for it. That is until you change what’s on the inside, which is where everything on the outside is created.

My challenge to you is to not fall into the trap of resenting these government officials and oil executives for their lack of consideration for the suffering being inflicted so they can find the fulfillment that they will never find, and to remember that this resentment only breeds more negativity. If we take a more compassionate attitude toward these people, without judgement or blame, we bring much needed positive energy into the world necessary to create true change.

If you need further evidence to help you overcome your outrage, think about it like this. We, as a collective population, have been recreating the same mistakes over and over again for a long time now. This is true on a global level as well as an individual level since individuals make up larger organizations of people. So, why does history seem to be repeating itself? I think it’s because we have not learned our lesson yet and woken up to the truth, so life keeps giving us new opportunities to do just that. In fact, it could be said that life’s one true purpose is to awaken us from our unconscious madness before we destroy ourselves.

However, in order for a great number of people to awaken the world situation will likely have to deteriorate more and more. Some people are easier than others to wake up, but each time a new person wakes up it creates a ripple effect that raises the energy level everywhere, increasing the likelihood that more will awaken. So, do you want to save the planet? Start by having compassion for those who are still destroying it and do not view yourself to be superior to anyone else. We are all one inseparable energetic organism and you are just looking at different forms of yourself in human form, all of whom you need to see for who they truly are in order to awaken.
May peace be with you,
Trey
PS - Please read the quote below as well (it is posted as a reply to the blog as well). It’s a quote from the end (page 138) of the book “Practicing the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, which I trust you have all read or listened to by now. If not, let me know if you want a copy.

Preconceived Notions

Hey,
If you’re like me you have a large stock pile of preconceived notions about things. These are the ideas and standards we have for judging people, events, places, etc. For example, we have preconceived notions about what makes a person a good person, which is broken down into countless categories depending on a person’s role such as what makes a parent a good parent, what makes a friend a good friend, what makes a teacher a good teacher, what makes a leader a good leader, etc. We have these preconceived notions about everything from what foods taste good (or would taste good if we have not tasted them yet) to what careers are worthwhile to pursue. These notions (conceived in the past) are influenced by our upbringing, social and cultural environment, as well as our own egoic drive to have an opinion or view point about everything (i.e. our own identity).

We feel that these preconceived notions are our survival tools that keep us safe and happy, and we can rationalize hundreds of ways in which our lives have been made better by having them. The truth is that we are clinging to them out of fear, the fear of losing ourselves without them. They make up our ego, our perceived identity, which is a mind made self that separates and differentiates us from the world around us. But this perceived separation is actually what leads to various levels of suffering or discontent in our lives.

These preconceived notions control how we see the world around us. Since they are the yardstick by which we judge other people and situations, they keep us stuck in the past and cloud our judgement of the present (in effect they have become our judgement). The past then perpetuates itself through this dense filter made up of past experiences (our mind) into the future. This is why we continue to manifest repetitive patterns in our lives or still feel the same after something in our life situation changes (i.e. a new job, a new home, etc.). In effect, our judgments and preconceived notions are creating our future to be just as it was in the past.

Judging others based on our preconceived notions is one of the major obstacles we have to obtaining happiness, but it is what we have relied on our whole lives to bring about just that. So how do we overcome this habitual practice of judging everyone and everything that comes into our lives and break free of the past? Well, it doesn’t happen overnight, at least not for most, but there are some basic practices you can start right now that make it happen.

First, start becoming aware of your own judgements when they occur. Realize that they are based on preconceived notions that you still hold to be the truth. Then, realize that not everyone sees the world the same way you do. In fact, there is no limit to the level of differentiation among people. We are all as unique as our fingerprints. And no two life situations (past or present) are the same even if you are brought up in the same household as another. However, if you look deeper than the outer layer you will see that we are all exactly alike. We have all created our way in the world with the hope that we will find true happiness. That’s all anyone wants. And we do what we do, say what we say, act the way we act because our preconceived notions (and ego) tell us that is the best way to bring about happiness. Therefore, the judgement you place on someone else could just as accurately be placed on yourself (i.e. “Look at that fool, he/she thinks what they are doing will make them happy.”).

This practice will help you eliminate judgement and unlock the door to true happiness. However, there are a few other pointers that might help here. It all starts with this: practice being the watcher, or listener, of the thoughts in your head. Pay attention as often as you can to the thoughts in your head. At first you can use key events as reminders to pay attention to your thoughts. For example, when you find yourself judging a person or event, or you find yourself formulating an opinion on a subject, or when you find yourself defending an opinion or getting upset, just pay attention to the thoughts. Don’t judge yourself for having the thoughts, just listen impartially. If you find yourself just having internal conversations about random things (as I find myself doing a lot) just bring your awareness to the thoughts and don’t beat yourself up for having such trivial thoughts. They are not trivial when you are shed the light of your awareness on them.

You can also do this when engaged in conversations with other people. Instead of constantly thinking of what they are saying has to do with you and how you are going to respond, just listen to them with your full attention. All of this can be called practicing presence or mindfulness and is the first step in awakening, which releases you from the control the past has over you. I think you will like the results, but I’d love to hear how it goes.
All the best,
Trey

PS - If you are interested in space photos, this link http://www.skyimagelab.com/hubphot.html has some great pictures taken from the Hubble telescope. These images are truly humbling and magnificent. Once you realize how tiny our galaxy is compared to the size of the universe (full of 100s of billions of galaxies, each with billions of solar systems like ours), it might make your mind made problems seem pretty insignificant after all.

It's About Time

I hope you are enjoying everything you are engaged in on a daily basis and bringing more awareness to the thoughts rolling around in your head. If you are, I’m sure you have noticed some very interesting things about how your mind works. One of the things I’m noticing is how much time I spend thinking about something that has already happened or thinking about something that hasn’t happened yet (and may not even happen). It’s interesting to witness what happens when you become the witness of these thoughts rather than being completely immersed in them. I’ll share more about this at a later present moment (see below to understand), but in the mean “time” I wanted to share a few things about time that might interest you.

I’ve been reading this interesting book called Exploring the Sky (Richard Moreshl) which has quite a few projects involving the objects in space we see from Earth, as well as historic information about how ancient people used the sky to guide them. So far there is a lot of information about how the passage of time was determined based on the changes observed in the stars, moon, sun, and various other objects. One project in the book involved building a nocturnal time piece which consists of a circle with tick marks for months and hours along with a couple pointers. To use it you center the hole in the center with the North Star and line up the markers with two stars in the Big Dipper and you can tell what month and hour it is (in the Northern Hemisphere).

There is a great deal written about the evolution of other time keeping devices as well. One thing that I found interesting is that minutes were not measured on clocks until a little over 300 years ago. Imagine a life without minutes :) Prior to that only hours were tracked and before that only days, etc. It’s obvious from what I have read so far that human fascination with time has been around for thousands of years. But I thought it was all summed up nicely by a quote in the book taken from H. W. Longfellow:

WHAT IS TIME?
The shadow on the dial
The striking of the clock
The running of the sand
Day and Night, Summer and Winter
Months, Years, Centuries–
These are but arbitrary and
outward signs, the measure
of time, not time itself.
Time is the life of the Soul.

To me this means that time is but a figment of our imagination that helps us organize our lives. In this context, time is equated to the eternal and inseparable part of our essence. Time is just a label we put on the ever changing present moment we find ourselves in.

As Eckhart Tolle likes to point out, nothing ever happened in the past. It happened in the now. Nothing will ever happen in the future. It will happen in the now. Everything always happens in the present moment. Even if you experience something 20 years from now, you will be experiencing it in the present moment. As you can see, this makes the present moment ever lasting and all you will ever have. So why not enjoy it?

If you are still unsure about how you can enjoy the present moment and still get things done that you need to get done, I suggest the book I have been suggesting for a while now, Practicing the Power of Now (or even The Power of Now), as it clearly addresses these issues. However, I will also continue to share my own observations on how you can bring your awareness back to the present moment to make the most of the only thing you will ever have. More to come...
All my best,
Trey

It's all necessary

Hey,
I wanted to share something with you that I have trouble remembering in my daily life, but when I do remember it life becomes much more pleasant all the way around. If you can remember this always, I think you will see the same results I do.

Everything that is happening right now, to you as well as anywhere in the world, is absolutely necessary for our evolution, and evolution is absolutely necessary for our very survival. Therefore, everything happening right now is critical to our survival, as was everything that ever happened in the past. It’s all necessary and accepting the necessity of it is the key to transcending pain and suffering.

This does not mean you have to sit back and do nothing about what’s going on. Quite the contrary. When something happens that you see as being wrong, the first step is to accept that it is happening or has happened rather than just reacting to it. Once you have accepted what is happening, you can decide to act to rectify the situation and your actions will be to be magnified in their intensity and effectiveness. This is because you will not be acting from a place of frustration, resistance, and negativity, which taints your actions with negativity. Instead you will be reacting from a place of non-judging acceptance and understanding, which by itself radiates a kind of peacefulness and power. In short, acceptance is the key to it all.
Take care,
Trey

The Power of Gratitude

Hey,
I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the beautiful weather that Spring is bringing. I want to say something that I’ve been wanting to say for a while, which involves sending you all gifts. If you have not already read or listened to one of Eckhart Tolle’s books, I want to mail you a copy of one that is continuing to help me see the world in new and inspiring ways: “Practicing the Power of Now: Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises from The Power of Now.”

Just email me your mailing address and indicate whether you want the book or the audio book. I will mail you a copy free of charge for you to share amongst your friends. I know many of you will be reluctant to accept this offer, so just consider it me loaning it to you for an undefined period of time, like Net Flix or the library or a no obligation free trial offer (if you’re not satisfied, return it and pay nothing ;) It is great stuff and I want everyone to be a part of the experience.

Now that that’s out of the way, I wanted to share with you a quote from the book I’ve been going on about (Practicing the Power of Now).

“[M]any people are waiting for prosperity, but it can not come in the future. When you honor, acknowledge, and fully accept your present reality – where you are, who you are, what you are doing right now – when you fully accept what you have got, you are grateful for what is, grateful for Being. Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true prosperity. It cannot come in the future. Then, in time, that prosperity manifests for you in various ways.”

This speaks volumes about the power of gratitude, which I have mentioned in a previous post. What it also does, is illustrates the essence of the Law of Attraction, which has been getting a lot of media attention of late. If you want more things in your life to be grateful for, then you need to be grateful for what you have now. Soon you will be given more reasons to be truly grateful. Said another way, if you want something, ‘be’have as if you already have it and it will be yours.

With this in mind, I would also like to share with you a very powerful gratitude experiment. It is amazing how powerfully just feeling grateful can be, and so you can see for yourself I have included something called the “Ecstasy and the Heart” exercise below. It will explain what to do in detail as I have included it in it’s entirety.

If at first something to be grateful for does not come to you, here are a few things I like to use just to get the gratitude flowing. I am grateful to be alive today, grateful my heart is pumping, grateful for all of my family members, grateful for having a roof over my head, grateful for everything I have ever experienced, grateful for all of the friends I have, grateful for being who I am, grateful for Being, etc. You don’t need to go through a list, but if you do the following exercise I think you will feel great and want to do it more and more. Feel free to share how it feels. I hope you enjoy.
Take care,
Trey

Ecstasy and the Heart
Hathor Channeling
4/18/05
We wish to speak with you in this section concerning the generation of ecstasy through focusing on the heart. We do not speak of the heart chakra in this instance, but rather we refer to the physical heart, the heart muscle itself.

This technique involves your focus, or attention, joined with the emotion of gratitude, or appreciation—which ever you prefer to use.

As soon as you focus your attention on the heart, you may notice a flow of subtle energy.

From our perspective, your focus of attention operates much like the central point of an energy vortex. This is especially true within your physical body and the field surrounding your body—your energy field—what the ancients called the aura.

Your ability to create a focus of attention is not just a cerebral, or brain, activity. It is an activity on many levels of consciousness. Wherever you place you attention within your body, or within the energy field of your body, there is an immediate flow of subtle energy to that point, or area, which has an enlivening effect upon the cells of your body, and/or the luminous light fibers that comprise your energy body.

Your focus, indeed, creates a warping effect at the subatomic levels, what you might call quantum field effects. These field-effects create distinct flows of energy, geometry and harmonics within you.

To alter the quantum field through the power of your focus is an important ability we urge you to master. Its applications are numerous, the cultivation of ecstasy being just one of them.

In this method, you use this ability to hold focus or attention, joined with the emotion of appreciation or gratitude. These two emotions have a coherent effect upon your energy field and upon the rhythmic magnetic emanations of your physical heart. This combination of focus and coherent emotion can be used to generate high states of ecstasy.

As we have said previously, the generation of ecstatic states of consciousness is an important evolutionary catalyst. We strongly suggest that you learn to create states of ecstasy throughout your day.

We realize that, for many of you, your daily life may not be conducive to the cultivation of such states, but we urge you to find times throughout your day where you can practice attaining these states for at least a few minutes at a time. A little bit of time spent in ecstasy is better than no time at all.

This practice will set up a harmonic or a relationship with the Earth, as a conscious living being, and with the harmonic waves of catalytic evolution that are flowing through your galaxy.

In this technique you focus your attention on the physical heart. As you focus your attention on this area, you generate the feeling of appreciation or gratitude. It is not the thought of appreciation or gratitude—but rather the emotion. In this method, thought will not activate the subtle energies needed to generate ecstasy—only feeling is capable of activating the energy vortices within you.

As you focus on the physical heart and generate the feeling of appreciation, or gratitude, a waveform of energy begins to flow throughout the body—carried by the magnetic fields of the heart, which emanate outward from the physical heart to encompass your entire body. As the flow of energy begins throughout the body, there is a spontaneous arising of ecstasy—cellular ecstasy.

Experiment with this technique. Sense what happens in your body as you focus upon your heart and generate these feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Physically feel what seems to be happening at the cellular level as the one trillion (or so) cells of your body receive this coherent energy of gratitude or appreciation.

Once you have established the ability to create ecstasy as described above, and once you are able to generate ecstasy whenever you desire it—at will—begin to experiment with your energy field—what some call the subtle energy body.

In working with this method your attention is, again, on the heart, generating feelings of appreciation and gratitude. And as you sense ecstasy beginning to arise in your body, you shift your attention to the field around your body. This field of energy looks very much like a luminous egg when viewed clairvoyantly. The wide part of this luminous egg shape is up around the shoulders and the more narrow part is around the feet. There is a central line or axis that runs through the center of this field, and it happens to also run through the center of your physical body—through the top of the head and down through the perineum. This line is the central axis of the magnetic field that comprises the subtle energy body. This body, or field, extends above the head and below the feet a few inches, to a several feet, or even yards. In certain highly charged energy states, the axis and subtle energy body can expand much farther than that.

By shifting your attention to this central axis and to the field surrounding your body, you allow the ecstasy to move out from the physical body into the field. This is very positive and creates powerful harmonic patterns that bring you into resonance with the waveforms of accelerated evolution that are flowing through your galaxy.

Do not underestimate the powers of this technique. Though it is very simple, it is profound and effective. It will bring you into a higher state of resonance and vibration. And this is, from our perspective, crucial in order to pass through the energetic portals and transformational energies that your Earth is now experiencing and will continue to experience.

There are things we would like to say to you about your nature and your destiny, but they would, most likely, not be understood by you unless you are, at the very least, in a state of ecstasy.

This is because the reference point for consciousness is established not only by belief, but also by one's emotional harmonics. And without you being in a state of ecstasy, it would be like trying to describe a sunrise to a blind person who does not have the ability to directly perceive what you are talking about. To such a person it would be a make-believe world you are describing. But if suddenly this person could see, he or she could sense the sun directly and verify that your description of the world was accurate. And what was once deemed to be in the realm of myth will now be seen as real.

And so we leave you in this moment with what may seem like a myth, but which we hold as self-evident. You are creator beings in the midst of creating your future and the future of generations yet to come. You hold within your heart a key to the Mystery of Mysteries. And the threshold, the opening into this mystery is through your capacity to enter ecstasy. Be bold and find your path, your way of living upward into this elevated state of being. Do know, however, the ecstasy is not the end of the way. It is simply the beginning.

Try the method we have laid out for you here. Experiment with the methods we have given earlier and that we will give in the near future. Enter ecstasy whenever you can. Know that when do so, you enter into communion with all the elevated beings and masters who have served and who are serving humanity. Know that when you do so, you enter into communion with your Self.

In joy and laughter.
The Hathors
©copyright Tom Kenyon, All Rights Reserved, 2005
This article may be copied and shared as long as nothing is changed and Tom Kenyon is credited along with the web site www.tomkenyon.com

Guns, abortion, drugs, ego

Hey,
I hope all of you all are doing well. I wanted to let you know, in case my last email left you wondering, I am still working on being fully present and aware. It is very easy to get sucked back into the old way of life because it has thirty years of momentum behind it. But I am celebrating the successes I have and making progress.

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything of a political nature, though that is what I spent a great deal of time doing before epilepsy changed my life's course a few years ago. However, after I received a recent invitation from one of the the Asheville Citizen Times editors on the subject of gun control, it struck a chord that needed to be strummed. In case you're wondering, I'm on a list of people who has published a number of editorials and letters and we get invitations to write on various current events.

I thought this issue might provide a nice segway to a cause that is near and dear to me so I sent in an editorial (see below). I don't think they are going to run it, but I wanted to share it with others who might find themselves being sucked into the gun control debate all over again. Let me know what you think either at the blog (http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com/) or via email.
Take care,
Trey

After the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech, the gun control debate has been forced back into the limelight. Those calling for stricter gun laws have very pure intentions. They want to save lives and they see stricter laws as a means to that end. However, these same individuals also tend to be on the pro choice side of the abortion debate. Not because they see abortion as the preferred method of birth control, but because they know that outlawing abortion will not make abortion go away. If abortion were made illegal in this country, a huge black market of underground clinics would open with no regulatory oversight. The number of do it yourself procedures would also increase dramatically. That may or may not mean fewer abortions (there would be no way to know) but the mortality rate of mothers in need of an abortion would certainly go up.

A similar thing happens when we make guns harder to get. The black market for gun traffickers grows dramatically. Where there is a will there is a way, even if there is a law against it. One can only debate as to whether stricter gun laws would have prevented the Virginia Tech massacre, but I suspect he would have found a gun one way or another (people with criminal intentions tend to be quite determined). In fact, being forced into black market venues opens up whole new worlds of outlawed firearms to choose from.

What we have now is a regulated gun market that requires certain conditions be met before someone can purchase a gun. It doesn’t guarantee that individuals will obtain the gun legally or that they will not commit a crime with a gun they obtain legally. What it does do is prevents us from starting another black market war we can not win, like the current war on drugs. The war on drugs costs our nation tens of billions of dollars a year and results in untold number of deaths on both sides.

In short, if you want to focus your energy on saving lives in the wake of this tragedy, start at the source of the problem: the Ego. Ego is the source of all of the pain and suffering in the world. Our ego is what makes us believe we are right and those who disagree are wrong. It makes us blame others for our unhappiness and try to escape blame for anything that goes wrong. It makes us feel like victims of others. It causes us to project our feelings onto others and take everything projected onto us personally. It also lashes out at others who threaten our way of life or who do something to cause us pain. Thus, it creates a continuous cycle that feeds our ego just the right levels of righteous indignation and/or self pity. The only real difference is that some people have very strong egos, which lend toward physical violence (directed outward or inward), and others have weaker egos, which tend toward psychological attacks (directed outward or inward).

Once you realize the power ego currently has over all of us, you realize that you no longer have to be its victim. You no longer have to find someone to blame when something goes wrong. You see that we are all victims of not knowing any better when we are acting out of ego. You control whether you listen to it or not. This means your happiness is your choice and not someone else’s. Your misery is your fault, no one else’s. Ego transcendence is the way to free yourself and your fellow human beings of their misery.

If any of these words moved you in any way, either made you want to debate me and point out the ways in which I am wrong, or made you want to tell others about it, take the next step. Look up “Practicing the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle and see if there’s anything to all this ego talk. I can guarantee it will set you free.

The World Revolves Around Me

I’ve caught myself a few times lately doing something I think I have been doing all of my life (thanks to my increased level of mindfulness): Looking for reasons for everything. After finding myself doing it, I discovered why it is I seem to always be looking for reasons. The bottom line of the search seems to be to find something to blame (call it attribute if you like) for that phenomena. Or, possibly to escape blaming myself for that particular event. At first I thought I was just a pattern searcher, but then I realized that the pattern I was seeking had that common thread. I wanted to discover why something is the way it is so that I could rest assured that it’s not my fault.

Well, I don’t do that anymore. I have now come to the realization that the entire world already revolves around me. I am the cause behind every event in my life. These different forms that come into my awareness all day long are all being put there by me. And, they are being put there because they are exactly what I need to encounter in order to increase my level of awareness. For the past thirty plus years I have not been giving each event its due, but I am now.

Since I have no one else to blame for anything that happens to me, I am now free to use each life event to get me further down the path I am traveling, rather than getting bogged down in the search for ways to ensure I’m right and something else is wrong. A great weight has been lifted and I now see the world through different colored glasses. Ones that are not tinted by the film of self- rightfulness. I am now grateful for every event that happens to me knowing that there are no “bad” things.

When confronted by a difficult situation, I will be looking for the lessons I have not yet learned from countless previous encounters with that situation. I will be grateful for the opportunity to respond appropriately this time, and therefore grateful for everything that happens to me at every turn. I will also do my best to help others along if they are in need of help because that is ultimately what I feel drawn to do.

I will take every ache, pain, misstep, awkward moment, pause, negative emotion, naughty thought, as well as every peaceful moment or beautiful scene as a reminder to be present in this moment and practice acceptance for all that is. I will not judge myself harshly when I fail to live up to the high standard I have set and will treat myself compassionately if I find my mind wandering counterproductively. I will also treat others with that same level of compassion with which I treat myself, knowing that they too are human.

I will sit with and observe each negative emotion that occurs in my life from the standpoint of the observer behind my thoughts, because I know this to be the way to make negativity dissolve. For there are no negative situations, only negative thoughts about situations.

All of the pain and anger in the world is simply a mental position being perpetually fed by all that information we amass regarding who is to blame for what, while we maintain our own secure place of always being right. I am no longer afraid to be wrong and admit it even when I know I’m not, because I know that in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter. So what and big deal will be the things I say to the things that used to get me worked up, because I am the one who gave them power over me.

In short, I’m free at last, thank God almighty I’m free at last!

After I wrote that, I cried and laughed at the same time and felt too moved to go back and fix any typos. I hope you enjoy.

Peace, love, and happiness (they are yours if you want them)
Trey
PS
I would like to say a special thank you to Eckhart Tolle for sharing his message with the world and doing it in such a simple and powerful way.

Simple Tools

We had a good discussion in the book group meeting I attend on Monday night. We each discussed some of our favorites off of David Hawkins 10 Simple Tools list (see list below). The idea is basically to pick one of these tools that resonates with you and apply it in your everyday life for a period of time and enjoy the results. In my last email I mentioned applying acceptance and the importance of that. Number 5 in the list below is basically the same concept because it involves forgiving everything that is witnessed.

I got to use a couple of them today while spending a brief while outside enjoying a beautiful Spring day. I was listening birds sing as well as the heavy earth moving equipment going back and forth on the mountain behind our house. Then rumble of the engine was easy enough to overlook but it was combined with periodic beeping noises when the equipment began backing up.

In order to come to terms with the constant beeping noise and the peace it had the potential to disturb if I allowed it to, I decided to find the beauty in the noise (number 4 below). It was not hard at all. All I had to do was imagine how many lives were lost in construction related accidents from people being backed over by drivers who could not see them. Once I began to appreciate how many lives have been spared as a result of this simple invention, I began to really appreciate and accept the noise as a wonderful thing.

Once I came in and looked at the daily quote from the Dalai Lama, I saw how appropriate it all was. “To deepen your gratitude toward all people, it is helpful to reflect on the unintended kindness of those who provide goods and services without necessarily knowing the names or faces of those whom they serve. In this life there are so many facilities we enjoy–nice buildings, roads, and so forth–that are produced by other people.”

I have become quite proficient at seeing the good in people and can easily think of the positive things that can result from disastrous events, which makes everything easier to accept. The tools below are great and you might end up using one or more of them as the situation determines. They really drive home the importance of the unconditionalness required to find true peace within yourself. I hope you enjoy.
Take care,
Trey
PS - If you catch yourself judging someone or something harshly, look for something to be grateful for so that you can fully accept it. Then be grateful for the opportunity to live up to your life’s challenge.

1. Be kind to everything and everyone, including oneself, all the time, with no exception.

2. Revere all of life in all its expressions, no matter what, even if one does not understand it.

3. Presume no actual reliable knowledge of anything at all. Ask God [higher self, all that is, etc.] to reveal its meaning.

4. Intend to see the hidden beauty of all that exists–it then reveals itself.

5. Forgive everything that is witnessed and experienced, no matter what. Remember Christ, Buddha, and Krishna all said that all error is due to ignorance. Socrates said all men can choose only what they believe to be the good.

6. Approach all of life with humility and be willing to surrender all positionalities and mental/emotional arguments or gain.

7. Be willing to forgo all perceptions of gain, desire, or profit and thereby be willing to be of selfless service to life in all of its expressions.

8. Make one’s life a living prayer by intention, alignment, humility, and surrender. True spiritual reality is actually a way of being n the world.

9. By verification, confirm the levels of consciousness and spiritual truth of all teachers, teachings, spiritual groups, and literature with which one intends to be aligned or a student.

10. Accept that by spiritual declaration, commitment, and surrender, Knowingness arises that provides support, information, and all that is needed for the entire journey.

Acceptance

Let me start by saying that “Practicing the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle is a book that I strongly urge everyone in the world read or listen to (I’ve listened to it twice now). I’ve been doing some very thorough reading for the last two years, and this work presents everything you need to know in a concise and easy to understand way, with specific techniques to practice in your daily life. It will change your life (and the lives of the people around you) for the better.

Having said all that, let me do my best to give you some helpful tid bits I’ve learned from it and some of Tolle’s other works. Please don’t take my words as a substitute for getting a copy of this book (in print or audio) as Tolle does a much better job at explaining it all.

Acceptance is the key to eliminating all of the pain, suffering, frustration, annoyance, etc. in your life. You may have a relatively happy life, but if you are like most people and experience periods of time when you are dissatisfied in some way, shape, or form, it is a sign that you have not fully accepted “what is” in your life. Pain and suffering are caused by nonacceptance. If you are ready to be free of negativity, it’s time to start practicing acceptance. I’ve been doing it for the last week or two and experiencing some very positive transformations. I’ve also realized that acceptance is a prerequisite to experiencing compassion because you can’t feel compassion toward someone or something that you have not fully accepted for who or what it is.

Before I continue, do not mistake acceptance for becoming complacent. Just because you accept something does not mean you can not take action to make changes. You are not accepting a situation, you are accepting the “isness” of the current moment. Since you are powerless to change what has happened, you can either react to it out of resistence (if you have not accepted it for what it is) or you can react to it from a place of acceptance, which leads you to a much more insightful and positive action (as opposed to a programmed reaction). Say yes to what is, then take action. Surrender to the way things are “in this moment” without judgment and inner peace naturally manifests.

For example, we have several dogs and a new foster puppy who needs to be house trained. So, when the puppy poops in the house, I don’t accept that there is poop in the house and leave it there. I accept that it has happened and take the necessary steps to fix the situation without judging myself or my wife for allowing it to happen. Taking steps to fix the problem from a place of acceptance makes cleaning up poop a much more tolerable task.

When you experience conditions in your life that seem to limit you in some way, realize that these are concealed openings into the formless state of peace for which you have been searching all these years (whether you realize it yet or not). Be grateful when you experience another frustration, because you have been given yet another opportunity to practice acceptance. I know it sounds crazy to some of you who have a very challenging time, so it’s important to start this practice with the little things in life that frustrate you.

You will begin to notice that there are recurring things in your life that cause you frustration, and will continue to do so until you accept them and deal with them from a state of acceptance. When an opportunity arises to practice acceptance, notice how you feel (angry, sad, lonely, worried, etc.) and recognize it without judging yourself for feeling that way. This puts you in the place of who you truly are: the consciousness behind your thoughts, the silent observer. This opens the door for you to be more mindful of how your mind works and increases your awareness.

One final thing to remember in all of this involves staying present, or in the now. Stay out of the past and the future as often as possible when time is not necessary for practical purposes. Clock time involves setting a goal and focusing on each step as you work toward that goal and letting go of the outcome. Psychological time is the compulsive projection on the future goal and all of the possible outcomes (something I catch myself doing fairly often). We tend to use our past to create our identity and look toward the future for fulfillment, but remaining in the present brings us a sense of freedom. It takes practice to stay present, but I have seen first hand the positive impacts it can have.

As Tolle says, don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself. You will likely see that surrender to what is will transform you, which will in turn transform the world around you. You will naturally begin to attract less negativity as you free yourself from the power it has over you. Realize that most people around you have no choice in what they do because they are in a mindless state (as we all are most of the time) and your resentment will disappear.

Get “Practicing the Power of Now” and listen to it or read it, and apply it in your daily life. In the meantime, share with me your questions or comments. I’m going through these changes now and may be of at least some help in clarifying what I have discussed here.
Peace be with you Now,
Trey

Allowing Peace

Hey,
For those of you who are interested in obtaining an unprecedented level of internal peace, which would thereby create an environment of peace around you and ripple outward, I find the words of Eckhart Tolle quite simple and to the point. I’m finding myself fully in the present more and more often these days, but still being sucked into the old patterns of habitual reactions. Practice makes perfect as they say.

Tolle’s website has numerous interviews that I am still reading through, but I have found his words to be quite powerful (especially when listened to on audio). To paraphrase what is quoted from an interview below, if you just accept everything that happens to you without judgment, you no longer get upset when things don’t go your way. When you just do your best and release your attachment to the outcome, it brings about an inner peace that dissolves all of your worries and anxieties about what the future may bring.

So next time you find yourself being cut off in traffic, spoken harshly to by someone, or in some other way hampered by events or other people, remember that everything happens of its own accord and that the majority of people are just going through life with blinders on, cruising on an autopilot programmed by their past experiences. They are not fully aware of the effect they have on the rest of the world as of yet and can not help doing what they do. It’s not your job to fix them when it happens, just to accept them for who they are and not take it personally. You will begin to feel more at peace and an increased level of happiness if you begin to practice what is suggested below. I know I have.

In the meantime, feel free to share this message with anyone you think might like the message it conveys, and/or email me with your feedback. I hope you have a great week and enjoy life and all it has to offer all of the time.
Take care,
Trey

The Power of Now and the End of Suffering
http://eckharttolle.com/home.php?section=news&type=News&show=NEWS%20-%20Interviews

Sounds True (ST): Being "in the present" sounds so obvious, and yet is quite hard to sustain. Do you have any practical tips for people for maintaining awareness of the present moment?

Eckhart Tolle (ET): Although the old consciousness or rather unconsciousness still has considerable momentum and to a large extent still runs this world, the new awakened consciousness – presence – has already began to emerge in many human beings. In my book The Power of Now, I mention ways in which you can maintain present moment awareness, but the main thing is to allow this new state of consciousness to emerge rather then believe that you have to try hard to make it happen. How do you allow it to emerge? Simply by allowing this moment to be as it is. This means to relinquish inner resistance to what is – the suchness of now. This allows life to unfold beautifully. There is no greater spiritual practice than this.

ST: How much time and effort is required to realize "the power of now?" Can this really occur in an instant or is this the work of a lifetime?

ET: The power of now can only be realized now. It requires no time and effort. Effort means you’re trying hard to get somewhere, and so you are not present, welcoming this moment as it is.

Whereas it requires no time to awaken – you can only awaken now – it does take time before you can stay awake in all situations. Often you may find yourself being pulled back into old conditioned reactive patterns, particularly when faced with the challenges of daily living and of relationships. You lose the witnessing presence and become identified again with the "voice in the head," the continuous stream of thoughts, with its labels, judgments and opinions. You no longer know that they are only labels, judgments, and mental positions (opinions) – but completely believe in them. And so you create conflict. And then you suffer. And that suffering wakes you up again. Until presence becomes your predominant state, you may find yourself moving back and forth for a while between the old consciousness and the new, between mind identification and presence. "How long is it going to take?" is not a good question to ask. It makes you lose the now.

Breaking the Cycle

Hey,
I hope you are doing well and staying warm this winter. I had a few thoughts I wanted to share with you all that will hopefully prove to be helpful in your life.

As you’re probably aware a lot of the things we do and say on a daily basis are done so out of habit. I have recently found a way that has helped me break out of the cycle of habitual doingness, which increases our level of mindfulness and has some other hidden rewards.

When you feel compelled to do or say something, whether it’s making a call, paying a bill, going to the refrigerator, walking the dog, or whatever; stop and ask yourself, “Do I really need to do/say that right now?” The answer to this question may be cloudy and may include rationalizations like, “Well if I don’t do it now, I’m not going to do it.” However, I always reassure myself that everything that needs to get done will because that’s the way it has always worked, and that I might actually benefit by pausing before acting.

Once you have asked yourself this question, do something different. This could be as simple as stopping to take a deep breath, sitting quietly for a moment, looking at your surroundings to appreciate their beauty, or whatever. The key here is to just break the routine by not immediately doing something out of habit.

Once you have taken a moment for yourself before following the compulsive act in question, then go ahead and do whatever it is (if it actually needs to be done), but do it differently. Do it in slow motion. Do it in a different order than you normally would. Say something different. Just do it in such a way that it takes away the automation of the action.

If you find that you have already done or said something out of habit, don’t feel bad. Just pause to reflect and find the humor in what you just did and the results it brought about. Realize you did it just out of habit and that it would have gotten done one way or the other. Then, do something different as stated above. This is in effect practice for next time and good mental exercise.

The point is just to get you to start breaking out of acting out of habit. A lot of the things I feel compelled to do in a day just make my life more complicated than it needs to be. If I take a slightly more hands off approach, things still get done but with less stress on me and those around me. Hopefully you will not interpret this to mean “do nothing” and instead will see it as an opportunity to do everything with more awareness.

I also wanted to close with some quotes from a book I recently finished, Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I enjoyed the book quite a bit and have selected some of my favorite quotes from the book (see below). I hope you all are doing well and enjoying February to its fullest. It’s over before you know it.
Take care,
Trey

Way of the Peaceful Warrior
It is better for you to take responsibility for your life as it is, instead of blaming others, or circumstances, for your predicament. As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you – consciously or unconsciously.

Nothing separate remained. I had become everything. I was Consciousness, recognizing itself; I was the pure light that physicists equate with all matter, and poets define as love. I was one, and I was all, outshining all the worlds. In that moment, the eternal, the unknowable had been revealed to me as an indescribable certainty.

That’s exactly what it is, Dan – a thought – no more real than the shadow of a shadow. Consciousness is not IN the body; the body is IN Consciousness. And you ARE that Consciousness – not the phantom mind that troubles you so. You are the body, but you are everything else, too.

What you enjoyed as a child can be yours again. Jesus of Nazareth, one of the Great Warriors, once said that you must become like a little child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Feelings change, Dan. Sometimes sorrow, sometimes joy. But beneath it all remember the innate perfection of your life unfolding. That is the secret of unreasonable happiness.

There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the paradox, humor, and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life; just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It’s all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don’t worry, you are already free!

We are only symbols and signposts. What matters is compassion, kindness, taking ourselves less seriously, and waking up to the gift of life in each passing moment.

Fear

Fear is a naturally occurring phenomenon that affects us all. It is a learned behavior that we encounter in our early years of development. It continues to surface throughout our lives until we deal with it and release it. It stems from the ego and the realization of our separateness from everything around us. To quote an early lesson from A Course in Miracles, “A meaningless world engenders fear.” But nothing in the world is meaningless. The only thing that’s meaningless is all of the definitions we place on the world we see. Our own paradigms create our fear, when in fact there is nothing to fear.

This ties in with what Joseph Campbell says about Adam and Eve’s fall from grace in the Garden of Eden. It is a symbolic representation of the loss of innocence of the fact that we are all one. Once we lose that innocence we are born with, fear steps in and the ego begins to take care of us, comforting us in our time of need and reinforcing our differences. As we become attached to our self-created identity, we become fearful of losing it and fearful of anything that conflicts with our personal belief system.

The up side to all of this is that fear can be overcome. Transcending our ego and returning to the innocence of oneness is part of the key. Once we realize that there is no us and them, we can come to terms with all of our fears.

Some will say that some fears serve a natural purpose in ensuring our survival, and to this I can not argue. All I can venture forward is that fear may not be the appropriate response when confronted by a man eating lion as fear tends to lead to paralysis. There may be more appropriate responses to potentially dangerous stimuli.

One of the things I have come to learn is that the fears we have today will continue to surface throughout our lives until we stop and look to the core of that fear and recognize it for what it is. According to David Hawkins, all fears come back to one central fear, the fear of death. This also gets back to our fear of losing our personal identity, something our ego has a problem with. But it can be surrendered as an inevitability we all face, allowing us to live our lives to their fullest potential, not hampered by fear.

As movies like The Secret illustrate, we create the reality we see as well as the things that happen in our lives. Our mental outlook and belief system attract certain events in our lives. Since fear is actually a projection of what might happen in the future, it involves anticipating something that has not yet occurred and may not occur, unless of course we spend too much of our time dwelling on it.

I believe the events in our lives serve as sign posts we can either choose to ignore or follow. If we ignore them, we might end up driving in circles for a while, in which case we will encounter recurring themes. If we pay attention and use our intention as a guide, we might end up getting to our final destination in one piece.

Here’s a quote for you to ponder from Buckminster Fuller, “If success or failure of [this] planet and of human beings depended on how I am and what I do, how would I be? What would I do?” I believe everything we do or think affects everyone in some way, whether it’s directly or indirectly, so I feel it important to act accordingly to the best of my ability and focus my energies on improving my ability to act in accordance with the highest good. Treating everyone with compassion and generosity, and being grateful for all we have is one of the best ways I know to proceed. I hope you will consider doing the same if you are not already.
Peace and love,
Trey

PS - My friend Jason, who you might remember had a bad fall a few months back, has also started a blog (see link below). He has begun reading some of the books I have recently read and has some very insightful posts you might enjoy.
http://collectiveawareness.blogspot.com

You may also want to check out some of the recent discussion on my blog spurred by my previous message on Christianity. Your comments and feedback are always welcome whether it’s sent directly to me or posted online.

Christianity

Hello,
I hope this message finds you doing well and enjoying life.

Religion in one of those subjects that I don’t broach lightly, due to the fact that some people tend to have such deep rooted beliefs that saying something to the contrary has a tendency to upset them. But I have had three encounters now with Christian promotional materials which has caused me to make some realizations about myself as well as religion in general.

Let me start by saying that I am one of those people who was turned off of Christianity a long time ago due primarily to my exposure to those who talked about eternal damnation for failing to follow certain rules. This idea of a vengeful and judgmental God has never really appealed to me, and, unfortunately, my idea of Christianity has suffered as a result. I suspect that I am not alone in this and that those who are condemning sinners to hell have actually been tarnishing the image of Christianity for a great number of people.

However, after two different eye catching pamphlets crossed my path in a week, both of which I read with an open-mind, and both of which had the same elements of “believe or burn,” I had a realization that made sense to me. I finally understood why “they” (the numerous authors, translators, editors, and promoters of the Bible) would make God out to be judgmental. “They” were/are trying to put the fear of God in people as an added incentive for people to follow the teachings of Jesus. This gave me a sense of relief because I realized “they” were only doing what they thought was best at the time (as I believe everyone is doing at all times).

However, I don’t think the best way to get people to become kind and caring people is by using fear tactics. I think that by projecting God to be judgmental, we ourselves become more judgmental. We are in effect justifying our own judgmental nature by making God in our image. This is where my third encounter with Christianity comes in to play.

I received a DVD in the mail, and was given it again later by a friend, entitled Jesus, which was sent by a consortium of churches in the area. Not being particularly well versed in the life of Jesus and being the open and eager to learn type of person I am, I watched the movie and took notes. I think the following quotes taken from the movie (which were supposed to be taken straight from the Bible) sum up the teachings of Jesus quite nicely:

“Love your enemies. Be good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone strikes you on the one cheek, let him hit you on the other one also. If someone takes away your coat, let him have your shirt as well. Give to everyone who begs from you. And if someone takes what is yours, do not ask for it back again. Do for others as you would have others do for you.... Love your enemies and do good to them. And lend expecting nothing back. And then you will have a great reward.... Be merciful just as your father [God] is merciful. Judge not and you will not be judged. Condemn not and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

What a great message. It seems to me that if we could all live by these simple guidelines, which I hope represent the core essence of what it is to be a true Christian, then we would already be living in heaven. Another thing that fascinates me is that this message weaves throughout the Eastern religions as well. In fact, one of the main paths to enlightenment is paved by these same values. So, there must be something to it because I don’t think that many ancient sages be wrong.

After watching the movie, I can even empathize with those people who would try to spread the word by any means necessary. But the means affect how the message is received, so great care should be taken when delivering it. In my personal opinion, now that Christianity’s image has been tarnished in the minds of some, I think the only way to rectify the damage is to focus on embodying these core teachings.

In the end, I would not have even watched the movie a few short years ago, but I found it quite enlightening. I also felt like I had seen it once before a long time ago when I was too young to remember well. I was a bit turned off by the brief opening scene about Adam and Eve and “the Fall,” but we’ll get into that some other time.

Hope all is well with you and yours. Stay in touch, stay open minded, and love your enemies.
Take care,
Trey

Some books to read

Hey,
I have been wanting to share with you all some of the things I’ve been reading lately just to provide you with some ideas if you would like to learn some new things. First of all, I just finished watching the movie The Secret, which I would recommend everyone see. It will help you realize that you do in fact create your own reality and give you some practical advice on how to shape your life to be what you want it to be.

As for reading material, let me first re-recommend the book “A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose” by Eckhart Tolle. It is one of the best ones I have read lately. I am currently reading the following eight (this seems to be about the limit of how many I can read at once without having trouble remembering where I left off). They are all great books in their own right, but I think it is safe to say that everyone would enjoy reading “Way of the Peaceful Warrior.”

A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking
The Undiscovered Self, by C.G. Jung
Wherever You Go There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell
Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman
The Evolutionary Mind, by Rupert Sheldrake, Terence McKenna, Ralph Abraham
Conversations with God - Guidebook 1, by Neale Donald Walsch
On the Road, by Jack Kerouac

I would also recommend everyone pick up a copy of “What Is Enlightenment?” magazine. It comes out quarterly and is one of the best periodicals I’ve been exposed to so far. The current issue is on evolution and the various schools of thought on it. Check your local bookstores for availability. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy everything you do.
Trey

Dealing with negativity

Hopefully everyone has gotten the new year off to a positive start and is gearing up for the best year you’ve experience so far. I thought I might share some information that might make doing just that a little easier, if you’re up for the challenge.

If you have people in your life that you dislike, it could be that what you dislike about someone else actually reflects something you dislike about yourself. I’ve come across this idea a couple of times and have actually seen it to be true in my life. However, it might be beneficial to fine tune this idea a bit.

If someone does something that elicits a “negative” emotion in you (anger, frustration, impatience, resentment, anxiety, etc.) that emotion is a signal for something you have not appropriately dealt with yet. I have found this to be true in my life and have also noticed that it becomes a recurring event until it has been dealt with properly. Over time it becomes obvious that there is something deeper at work that is trying to demand your attention.

So, if you are like me and are interested in being the best person you can be ;), it’s important for you to pay attention to these signals, which are expressed as thoughts and emotions. When something someone says or does triggers something you don’t like in yourself (i.e. a negative emotion), pay attention. There is something that needs to be dealt with there. Entire books have been written on the subject of how to deal with these emotions when they do arise, but one of the central proponents is to realize that your response is your choice. This is hard to come to grips with since we have developed well trained responses to certain stimuli, which often involves placing blame, but it is true.

So, when you encounter a situation that elicits one of these trained responses from you, such as anger, “choose” to respond differently. If, for example, your initial reaction is to defend yourself against a false accusation, stop and be with that feeling. Is it caused by injured pride or the need to never be in the wrong about something? Then, let it go rather than react. This gets back to an issue touched on in the book The Lost Art of Compassion involving graciously losing an argument. To a certain extent this involves a little bit of pride swallowing and I’ve noticed that pride is one of those things that does not taste all that good going down (it’s an acquired taste).

However, if you are able to do this when your emotions flare, when the same trigger is encountered again it will have less of an affect on you. You are, in effect, changing your perspective on the issue and releasing the power it has over you. You are retraining yourself not to be negatively impacted by something someone else does or says.

It may help to ask yourself why something upsets you. It may also help to remind yourself that everyone is doing what they think is right at any given moment. It may help to try to see the issue from the other person’s perspective. It may help to realize that everything will be just fine regardless of the inconveniences encountered. It may help to remember that each little issue that prompts a response from us is a learning opportunity, and there will be plenty more if we don’t get it right this time (be grateful when they occur).

The bottom line is that we are all divine beings in our own rights whether we realize it yet or not. If we can realize it in ourselves first, it’s easier to see it in others.

Enjoy the new year to its fullest and do your best to make the most out of everyday, even if it brings some minor inconveniences or hard lessons. We’ll all be better off for it.
Love and peace,
Trey

Feel the love

If you are reading this message right now, please know that you are loved. During this season, make a special effort to feel the love, be with it. Give it freely and revel in all that you receive. Open up to it and embrace it. It's a wonderful feeling and it's too easy to filter it or hold it back out of fear. So enjoy being loved and share that feeling with as many people as you can. And love yourself no matter what happens or what you do.

May your holiday season be bright and joyful and your new year filled with wonder.
Peace and love,
Trey

Different Paths

Hey,
I hope this finds you doing well and enjoying a happy holiday season. Some of my recent observations may be a bit of review for some of you, but I had to share the thoughts while they were fresh on my mind. Hopefully you will find them relevant in your life at this point as well.

We're all on different paths in life. In fact, there are no two people alike and, therefore, no two people who are taking the exact same path in life. We're all striving for something slightly different based on our own set of beliefs about the best way to get there. We also like to seek out people who share similar paths. We enjoy being in their company and sharing stories about our common path. But, no matter what paths we share with others, ours is still a little different. This makes it difficult to identify fully with another person and often leads to misunderstandings and even conflict.

However, we are all in fact on the same overall path. We're all divinely complex beings getting through life the best we know how, whether we realize it or not. Therein lies the heart of learning unconditional compassion. I think that acknowledging the commonalties that link us all is the best way to make us better people.

The conflict and suffering that arise as a result of our lack of understanding that we are all on a common path can be a vital teaching tool. If there were no suffering or conflict in the world around us and in our personal lives, we wouldn't be challenged to strive for something. It would also make it more difficult to learn gratitude for all we have to be thankful for since we would lack a frame of reference.

An example of this has to do with the way the Buddha started his journey toward enlightenment. He was brought up in a luxurious environment insulated from the harsh world outside the palace walls. When he was in his 20s he was allowed to venture out into the world where he came face to face with suffering people for the first time. He was so overwhelmed with it that he left his family and kingdom behind in search of a reason why there was so much suffering in the world. I suspect if he had never been confronted with suffering, he never would have found enlightenment.

So, suffering is never meaningless. It's a constant reminder that we are all human and prone to making mistakes. On a greater scale though, suffering can serve as a wake up call to the core love in us all that's just waiting to be let out. We have to love ourselves for doing the best we know how, and spread that love to everyone else doing the same thing, no matter how far off base they seem to be in our eyes.

Peace and love to you and yours during this holiday season, and may everything go exactly as it needs to for you to reach your ultimate potential. That's what's happening anyway, isn't it?
Take care,
Trey

A few tips on life

Hey guys, how’s it going. In between each email I send to you, I think of at least a handful that I would like to share, but can’t make the time to type them up every time they occur to me. Plus, I suspect you would get sick of hearing from me that often. Anyway, here are some of the tid bits I wanted to share with you this week that might be beneficial to you and your life.

First of all, I have compiled a list of attitudes that are revisited quite a bit in the literature about obtaining joy. I will try not to spend too much time on each item but still do them some justice.

Gratitude - Always be thankful for everything you have and have done. Spend some time each day just being grateful for everything you are. If you ever catch yourself revisiting a time when you did something foolish and getting embarrassed by it all over again (something I catch myself doing from time to time) forgive yourself and remember that everyone is doing what he or she is thinks is right at that particular time in life. We can not fault ourselves for making mistakes, it comes with the territory and helps shape us into the wonderful people we are today. Be thankful and not regretful.

Openness - This is basically being open to all experiences and people without judgment. We are lightning quick to categorize people and experiences when we encounter them, so it seems difficult to catch much less rectify. However, it’s important to realize that we are doing ourselves more harm than good by judging other people and events. They too are doing the best they know how at this given point in their lives and prone to make mistakes just as we have in the past and will likely do in the future. We have to also be careful not to judge ourselves nor think about how others might be judging us based on what we do or say. It’s a slippery slope.

Compassion - This is something that I have been “preaching” about for a while now and is very interrelated with being open. However, this goes a step beyond simply not judging someone to be an egomaniac. Compassion means showing compassion toward everyone regardless of their predispositions for annoying habits or poor behavior. Try to remember that we are all connected and share a common bond, and that we are all products of our environment. Realize that those who suffered most when they were young are often the ones who cause the most suffering when they are older. Try to be empathetic with their situation and show them what it’s like to be kind as they may not have seen it first hand. You will be surprised at the effect this can have on a person.

Mindfulness - This involves paying attention to what you are thinking and what you are experiencing in as much as possible. You really can’t begin to make things happen in your life without it. If you are just floating through life on your daily routine and not paying attention to what you are doing, then your life will fly by without feeling very fulfilling. If you are truly happy by just following your routine, then please don’t let this stop you. If you feel like something is lacking or that you could be happier or just want to experience true joy, then start paying attention and consider doing some basic meditation during the day. It may take a little practice to do at first, but it feels good to do and is good exercise for living.

Present - Try to remain in the present moment as much as you can. We spend a great deal of our time worrying about an impending engagement or future obligation or goal, as well as reliving past events for further investigation. Once you start paying attention to your thoughts, you will realize this is basically what we spend most of our time doing. We are well trained in that way by our daily routine. You have to try to stop to realize you’re somewhere else in time. However, there gets to be a point in there where you can still be present while planning or working or making breakfast. If you can realize the past doesn’t matter and realize that worrying about the future doesn’t change it, you can realize the importance of being in the present moment. It too feels good to be in that place, though I still can not sustain it for long periods without being sucked back into my routine or typical behavior.

I’m going to wrap up by saying this, “Give freely and forgive quickly.” It came to as I was waking up from a dream I don’t remember but that I had to write down. It’s important to forgive yourself for everything you’ve done and expand that forgiveness to everyone you know, past and present. People are just doing what they think is right at the time. They are also constantly learning from their mistakes and trying to do what they think is better. In short, we are all capable of change and I think that interacting with people who are trying to embrace these key things in their lives is the best medicine anyone could be exposed to.

There’s a lot more I would like to share with you, but I will leave it at that for now. I hope all is well. Stay in touch.
Take care,
Trey

Getting Involved

Hey,
I hope your Thanksgiving was as good as ours. We went to Florida to visit Shelby's relatives that we do not see very often. In fact, she was able to reunite with her brother and sister who she had not seen in almost 15 years (since the death of their father). It was a wonderful experience for everyone involved and I was glad to be there for it. It was all brought about by a dream one of her aunts had. Her aunt acted on the dream and helped make the reunion happen. The love was everywhere despite the anxiety leading up to it.

During conversations with her family members, I learned things about everything from gardening techniques to remodeling tips to interpersonal relationships. The wealth of information learned on this trip is greatly appreciated. In fact, at the end of this note, I will share the tips related to fostering loving relationships since I feel this information is valuable to everyone who wants to have a loving relationship.

One of the key pieces of information that I have learned previously and have been trying to remember is summed up by this quote, "When someone makes a statement, they are not asking you for something. If they are, they need to ask it." This seems simple enough, but I have found that I am in the habit of automatically jumping into action when someone makes a statement that implies they are in need of something. This gets you into trouble though because it is based on an assumption, which is based on projection, which is based on past experience or programming. I have been focusing on not jumping in to fix things when a problem is stated and it seems to make life less complicated and more clear cut. If you find yourself doing the same thing, you might want to try refraining from assuming the role of fixer before someone asks for your help.

Shelby and I were discussing this and other things on the drive back from Florida and we stumbled on an issue I wanted to come to terms with. How and when do you offer help to someone who you think needs it but who may not know they need help or even want it. Or, when do you get involved when you see something happening that you know does not need to happen and will have negative outcomes if it continues. A basic example of this is when you see a parent mistreating a child. You can see that the situation is a continuation of the same old cycle (i.e. parent mistreats child, child later becomes parent and mistreats their child, etc.) and yet it's not your place to intervene. Or is it? Do you ignore it if it doesn't directly affect you and just let the parties involved live the lives they were intended to lead? They have their life lessons to learn after all.

We were debating this issue and not getting any clear resolution. There is an obvious problem in that the observer is assuming that he or she has a better solution to the situation. The degree of separation also has to be considered. It makes more sense to offer helpful suggestions to a family member in need than it does to a complete stranger. We kept going back and forth on this because I was looking for some rules of engagement to know when to get involved and none were evident.

As we stopped the conversation we stopped for a quick bite to eat. While eating in the car, we realized that we had parked right next to a case of exactly what we were discussing. The man and woman next to us were arguing about something. She was very pregnant and standing in front of the car refusing to talk to him or even get back in the car. A young boy was in their back seat crying and an elderly woman was in the passenger seat sleeping (I'm not sure how). The man, after trying to tell the woman to get in the car because her son needed her, decided he would give her to the count of five to get in the car or he was leaving without her. At this point I wanted to do something, but had no idea what to do without knowing what they were fighting about.

Well, after counting to five he started to leave thinking she would give in. Of course she did not. He finally made good on his word and left. We just sat there and continued to eat. I felt quite bad. After about 10 minutes she had sat down on a bench and cried a little. I finally went over and asked her if she was okay (unsure as to what to say). She smiled and said yes. I asked her if she was sure and she nodded. I said that I just had to make sure and left.

We sat in the car for another minute before we hit the road again. I started second guessing what I should have said, and quickly realized that it was a waste of time and that I had said exactly what I was supposed to say. We also discussed the fact that she was at a busy gas station with a phone inside if she needed to call someone. Though I was reassured by the fact that she would be okay, it was difficult for me to get it out of my mind.

The next day, on our second leg of the trip home, we parked at a rest area. While I was waiting for Shelby to return to the car, the woman parked next to us could not get her car started. She also could not get the hood up on her car after several attempts. This time I got out without an invitation to help and offered my services. I could tell she was a bit reluctant to accept help from a total stranger (which is a sad state of affairs in and of itself), but we were able to get the hood up. She smacked on the loose battery cable (as she had apparently done a number of times) and was able to get it started. She thanked me a couple of times and left. I felt good that I was able to help and was glad that nothing mechanical was wrong as I would not have been able to help with that.

Thanks to these situational gifts, I decided that there is not a clear cut time and place to involve yourself in someone else's life. There is no magical list of criteria to check against before offering a helping hand to someone in need of direction or assistance. It's all shades of gray. Oh well, maybe as I continue to grow I will develop a keener sense of when and how to get involved in another person's life. But I can safely say that I am glad that Shelby's aunt got involved in her life to help bring about a long overdue family reunion. Feel free to share any guidelines on getting involved that you might use as I would love to obtain a bit more clarity on this issue if there is any more clarity to be had.
Take care,
Trey

List of Relationship Tips (care of Shelby's aunts)
- Always kiss hello and good bye
- Have a meeting night once a week to discuss things that are on your mind
- Go for walks where you talk about what you like/love about each other and what you like/love about yourself (you can't love someone else unless you love yourself)
- Don't allow yourself to act as your partner's parent
- Lead a full social life together
- Alternate decision days (one person gets to decide what to do/buy one day and vise versa)
- Each person pick a hobby that they want to do with their partner (i.e. one person picks dance lessons, the other person picks tennis lessons)
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
- Have a romantic date night once a month
- Don't be afraid to ask your partner for something you want