Tuesday, February 27, 2018

No Mistakes

Have you ever made what you thought was a bad decision? If you think so, then you've probably experienced the frustration of things not working out the way you had hoped they would. However, I would like for you to ponder this: What if there is no such thing as a bad decision? What if there are only decisions? What if it’s impossible to make a mistake in this life? What would happen to this frustration if you dropped the belief that mistakes are possible? Is the idea that things could or should be different than they are actually at the root of frustration?

Each and every move we take has a different set of possible outcomes. We do our best to make the “right” move, but when we decide outcomes are “bad” then we look at what led to them as a mistake, either on our part or the part of others. We will then either seek to blame ourselves or others for unpleasant circumstances. However, from my experience, every apparent “bad” situation always has positive repercussions. It may take a little while for the benefits to be shown, but I can always find several positive outcomes that were brought about by a seemingly negative situation.

This may seem like a “rose colored glasses” approach to viewing life, but I have been in a number of seemingly hopeless situations, and I have seen how life always works out in my favor despite what may seem hopeless. Having been tested over and over again with challenging situations, I have learned to see every circumstance as an opportunity for growth. The gift of stressful situations is in the opportunity to go beyond our beliefs about what should or shouldn’t be. If we operate from the perspective that mistakes are not actually possible, then it frees us to act from a place of fearlessness and integrity, knowing that the outcome will be for our benefit, even if it seems challenging at first. It also alleviates the burden of thinking we know what’s best for us and reduces our attachment to certain outcomes.

When I find myself in a situation where something I did or said seemed to cause someone else distress, I own my role in that and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. It’s important to know that their distress is not ultimately caused by us but by their own beliefs on how things should be. But it’s also important not to dismiss the feelings of others, and instead look for the truth in any accusations or blame that comes our way. We gain insights into ourselves and others when we can welcome their criticisms instead of defending against them. The key is not to get caught in judging ourselves negatively because someone else blames us for their frustration. Instead, we can recognize that we did the best we could do, and we did it perfectly. A friend of mine once told me, “You can’t do it wrong, you can only do it Trey.” You could also say that the only mistake is the belief that mistakes are possible.

When we cease to believe in mistakes, challenges can be welcomed as part of what’s necessary for our personal growth, and things can be seen as unfolding in our favor. When the burden of self-doubt and the fear of doing something “wrong” is lifted, each moment is perfectly fine no matter what happens. The past and present are accepted as part of what could not have been avoided, and the present is experienced as one welcome occurrence after another. We can then realize that we are always living in a happy ending that never ends.

I invite you to see what it’s like to release the idea that you, or someone else, could make a mistake. See what happens when you stop labeling things as good and bad. Things always are as they are and nothing anyone can do will change that. Only one thing can be changed and that’s how you see things. Could it be that our happiness is a belief away?

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Mother Nature

Dear friends and family,

I hope your 2018 is off to a good start and that you have enjoyed (and survived) the holidays :) I've been feeling a lot of gratitude recently due to the single digit temperatures we are currently experiencing. I'm so grateful for electricity and central heat. I feel so warm in my house that I just feel blessed, as well as deep compassion for those who are not as warm and comfortable. I'm also in awe of those who lived through tough winters long before the modern conveniences of home life. I can only imagine the effort it took, heating with wood in drafty log homes with no running water or electricity. I'm warm, comfortable and grateful, and I hope where ever you are you are as well :) This leads me to my latest blog post on Mother Nature. I hope you enjoy.

Happy new year!

Almost all of the things you see and touch everyday come up out of our magical Earth. In fact, I can’t think of anything that did not originate in this planet.  Humans have developed this uncanny ability to extract things from the ground and create an unimaginable array of objects. We have learned through modern technology how to take minerals from the dirt and manufacture wonderous things, even generate electricity. I find myself thinking about this sort of thing regularly and it has built up a sense of awe and appreciation for even the most mundane things. I look around and I see the miraculous existence of all things and recognize that everything is brought to us by Nature, then feel the gratitude for its gifts. This is why I would like to invite you to spend a little time and attention contemplating the sacredness of all things.

First, think about how much metal goes into making cars. How many thousands of pounds make up a car or truck? Think about how many cars there are on the highway near you on any given day. There are thousands of cars traveling down the interstate near me on a daily basis, and I live in a relatively small town (i.e. a speck of dust in a planet full of small towns and major cities). So how many cars are there in the world? If you Google that you’ll see that there are well over a billion. Now, think about how they were all made of metal that has been mined from the Earth, then melted, molded and put together in intricate ways. Not just metal, but also the fossil fuels that go into making plastic and rubber, and the minerals that go into making the glass. The natural resources that go into making a car is mind boggling, much less a billion of them.

Pick anything at random and consider where it came from and just how much was needed to make it. For example, think about how many trees it takes to build a house, or an apartment building. How much sand is needed to build a single bridge or make a house full of windows? What about the fabric in your clothes and furniture? Your dishes, your furnishings, your toiletries, your computer, your book, your phone. It all originates in this beautiful Earth and is mass produced by its brilliant inhabitants. I invite you to look around at something, anything, and recognize it as a gift from our planet, brought to you by the ingenuity of human beings just like you.

I just want to say, “Thank you, Mother Earth.” You are like the giving tree, always allowing us to enjoy your living breathing body 😊 And to my fellow planet-mates, thank you for being a crucial part of what makes society work as well as it does.

Much love,


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Group Discussion (September 18, 2017)

Dear Awakeners,

I've heard from a number of you that you would love to attend the group meetings and can't due to busy schedules, etc. I decided that it might be helpful for me to pass along the things we discuss in the group meetings because people tend to leave the meetings feeling rejuvenated, and dare I say more awake. Everyone in the room is a teacher, and we each contribute to the global awakening just by being present. So here's a brief recap. If you would like to chime in, add your two cents, or provide feedback, you can either email me directly, or post your comment to my blog (I will post this at http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com). 

We had a good talk about acceptance of every aspect of ourselves and our experience (thoughts, emotions, etc.), and I felt like we really deepened our overall acceptance of others and the external world. I have been reading Jeff Foster's new book "The Way of Rest: Finding the Courage to Hold Everything in Love," which has helped me become more accepting of my own "stuff." 

I shared my realization that we are all completely innocent in everything we do, that we are conditioned against our will from the time we are born to think and behave in certain ways. We don't have a choice in how we are raised, what we are taught, and don't have any option to do anything but what we do, until we realize that we do have a choice. This realization has given me the ability to forgive anyone for everything. My forgiveness of the conditioned behavior of others is not a "get out of jail free card" for them. They will suffer the consequences of their actions whether I forgive them or not. But it frees me from the bondage of negativity. Forgiving others is for me and has nothing to do with them.

We talked about the political environment and being able to take action from a place of acceptance and forgiveness. I shared a few opinions about Trump, like he's not a very nice person, I don't think he is a very good president, etc., which are relatively tame compared to the majority of Americans. However, I can hold those opinions with the knowing that he is meant to be the president (for now), and that much good will (has) come from his time as president (just as much good comes out of every disaster). Now I can enjoy the show knowing that my opinions are only stories I've created through my own conditioning and don't really encapsulate the truth. I can see how the conditioning of others is innocently playing out with no one the wiser. Nobody's right and nobody's wrong. I can also see how this political climate is leading more people to question their reality, and that is one of the most important things that is happening as a result of the current situation. For example, one of the members said that she had no idea how much racism there still is in this country. While it is very disturbing to know, it is very good that this has been brought to light so that healing can begin.

We noticed some of our own judgments and started to see first hand how they were shaped by our upbringing. Our opinions and world views are formed by our conditioning. We talked about how the ideas of good and bad were at the core of conflict and that things just ARE the way they are. They aren't good or bad until a conditioned mind puts a label on it and creates division and suffering, something less than perfect. We looked at how we can shape our reality with a simple shift in perspective and an open mind.

We also talked a little bit about the fear in the air surrounding potential nuclear war, etc. This fear is of an unknowable future. The mind takes on a story of doom and gloom and the story becomes real for us. But that impending doom loses its impact when death is seen as an illusion.

Anyway, that's about it in a nutshell. If you were at the group and want to add something I missed, please email me or post a comment to the blog (http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com/).

Our next meeting will be in two weeks, Monday, October 2, 6:30 to 8:30 pm. I will send out a reminder as we get closer. I hope to see you all there.

In gratitude,


Sunday, January 29, 2017

For or Against

Our family attended the women's rights march in Asheville recently. There were thousands of people from all walks of life there, and it was moving to see so many standing together for a common cause(s). As I stood there reading all of the signs, the idea occurred to me to write about being "for" something or "against" something. I'm for all of the rights these people were marching for, but I'm not against the establishment that poses a threat to those. If you are against another group of people, you become like those who are against your group. You now have something in common -- you're both "againsters." It's quite possible to be for something and take action to support what you're for, without being against anything. You can fight negativity with negativity, but it's a never ending battle without winners, only victims.

There's the old saying, "What you resist persists." It may sound quaint, but it’s true. These things that bother us continue to nag at us until they are dealt with, not just externally but internally. What’s bothering you isn’t out there. It’s what’s in you. You’re projecting it out on the world. In that way, you shape the world you live in. If you want to shape it into a better place, then you need to find that better place inside you. You already have it, but it’s hidden under layers of judgment and conditioning. Those are the only obstacles to peace. Without those, peace can come through you into the world and shape it in ways you can never imagine. To be the peace that you already are, be at peace with what’s going on around you. That won’t change until you do.

I love you,


Saturday, January 21, 2017

Fear of the Future

Fear seems rampant around the world right now. For some it has to do with the impending rule of the new President of the United States. We have heard a great deal about how wrong things could go under Trump, and a lot of it’s easily believable based on the past. However, this is a prime example of how we create fear in our lives -- We imagine a future. We like predictability and are programmed to use our memory to project a future to help put us at ease (or freak us out). Let’s face it, the future we envision today is not likely to be the reality of the moment when it becomes now. Consequently, when you’re living in fear, you’re believing in an unlikely (more like impossible) future. Seems like a waste of energy, doesn’t it?

Ponder this: What if none of the ideas we have about the future will ever be true? What if we are always going to be wrong? What if no matter how much we think and analyze things, we can’t possibly be right? Ever? Would that be scary? Or would you simply stop trying to know the future? If so, a great deal of our incessant mental noise and worry could finally go away, leaving us more time to focus on what’s real, now.

What’s that you say? “How can we be prepared for what the future may hold if we don’t think about what might happen?” I can see the mind justifying its need to predict and analyze. “I’m here to protect you from bad things,” it says. “Without me, you would be lost.” But is that really true? We can only guess what would have happened in the past if we hadn’t relied on the mind’s attempts to know the future. So we can only guess what might happen in the future if we don’t rely on our mind. Can we open our minds to see what good may come? A lack of trust in the unknown keeps us stuck worrying about a non-existent future. As Eckhart Tolle says, “You can never cope with the future. But you can always cope with the Now.”

What’s the worst that could happen if we threw ideas of the future out the window? When you start to answer that question with the mind, you have re-entered an imaginary future world. Let’s pick one negative thing that seems likely to happen with Trump as President. Take your belief in that possible future, and embrace it, then let it go for a moment. See what it feels like to drop that belief. For me, a space of lightness opens up that was previously concealed by worry. A sense of trust and confidence emerge. This trust does not make us vulnerable. It makes us invincible! Don’t let your mind trick you into believing otherwise. Your thoughts are well meaning. They attempt to protect us from uncertainty, but since everything about the future is uncertain, we get stuck in protective mode. Can you accept uncertainty in your life? Can you hold the knowing that you can handle anything life throws at you, whether you saw it coming or not?

The key to peace isn’t knowing what the future holds, it’s knowing what the present moment holds. When you know this moment fully, you become one with the organic flow of Life. Allow it to carry on the way it does. It will happen however it wants to happen, regardless of your best efforts. Take the effortless way to freedom. Stop believing the hype. Speculation is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and frustration and worry are painful emotions. So, stop hurting yourself! No future = No fear. Living fearlessly is how real positive change comes about in this world. Be the peace you want to see and see what happens.

Monday, January 02, 2017

Trey's Interview with Jeannie Zandi

I had the great pleasure of interviewing Jeannie Zandi recently (www.jeanniezandi.com). She is a great spiritual teacher that I first met back in 2007. In fact, she was the first teacher I had the opportunity to sit with in satsang (I basically lost my satsang virginity to her ;). It was a very powerful and transformative experience which I wrote about in my post “Tears of Joy” (http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com/2007/12/tears-of-joy.html).

Jeannie emanates heartfelt compassion and love, which she brings to the interview I did with her. It was actually like the two of us sitting together in satsang, rather than an interview. Instead of asking her a bunch of questions, I put forth some issues I have been grappling with recently (feelings of being overwhelmed, inadequate, etc.), and she dove in so we could explore those together. My guess is that many people could benefit from listening to our talk.



PS - Due to video glitches I have posted the audio version of our interview here.

Sunday, December 04, 2016

Divided We Fall

I divorced myself from politics back in 2004 after suffering a grand mal seizure. It happened right after I learned that John Kerry had conceded the election to George Bush, before all of the votes had been counted. I wasn’t a Kerry supporter at the time, but I was a Bush hater. When I went to tell my wife the upsetting news, I fell down and had a seizure. I woke up in the ambulance on the way to the ER. I was later diagnosed with epilepsy, but it was a wake up call that changed my life forever. And I am thankful for it because it’s what started my search for the purpose of Life. I later found it and am continuing to see the purpose unfold all around. I know it’s all necessary. I know everything is a prerequisite for the discovery of purpose. It has to be this way. So what do you do if you don’t like it this way and it can be no other way? That’s how it started for me.

Having said that, I am also among the majority of Americans who are surprised and disappointed in the recent Presidential election. I, like many, didn’t think Donald Trump had a chance. Afterall, he’s a bully with a negative attitude toward a lot of people. He’s very judgmental and prone to make irrational decisions. There, I said it. I cast my first stone. It’s time for me to do The Work :)

I digress, however. The outcome has illustrated just how divided we are as a nation. There are a lot of people celebrating the victory in the form of hate speech toward minorities. I am surprised that roughly half of those who voted are okay with someone like Trump behind the wheel. But, my disappointment transitioned into peace with forgiveness. This is not a forgiveness that comes from a place of superiority, as in those people are wrong and I forgive them. Instead it’s identifying with them. Once you forgive, you can begin to relate to others as human beings again.

As an example, I ended up in the voting booth right next to my previous neighbors. It’s a long story that ended with us moving to get away from them. I know they are blue collar republicans and I thought about why they were voting the way they were.After all, my political mind thinks that poor people are voting against their best interest by towing the party line. Anyway, it dawned on me that it’s because they have no choice. They were exposed to certain things in their past that shaped their way of thinking. The same is true of me. Beliefs are handed down from generation to generation, like folklore. I then felt a sense of compassion toward them as I filled out my ballot. I can only be this way and they can only be that way. We didn’t get to choose--until we realize we have a choice.

The chaos that has transpired since the election has all been part of the unconscious belief that I’m right. How could we think otherwise?  But it has put a magnifying glass on the divisiveness we have within and without. Even though I don’t believe Trump would make a good President, I think he will make a necessary one. From my perspective, he represents part of the acceleration of human unconsciousness. There is a wave of consciousness rolling through this world, and it has a lot of people concerned. Word is spreading like the fires we’ve seen here in the mountains. The word is, “Yes, you can encounter peace in a world gone mad. Yes, you have the power to bring good into this world, even when it seems to be falling apart. You can rid yourself of compulsive thinking and negativity. You can accept what is.” It usually takes something traumatic to get you to look for what’s true. This election will be the trauma that many people need in order to start focusing on the only thing that can be changed--your perspective. You change that and you change the world. You change that and you become the world.

Keep the peace, inside and out. Take time to stop and just be present. Follow your breath as you enjoy the air around you. Look at the sky. Pay attention to your sense of Being. All of the negativity is just mind stuff that covers up the truth of who we are. It’s time to wake up now. I invite you to please make waking up your prime focus this coming year. Learn to make peace with the present moment, even if it contains apparent adversity. You can do anything when you do it from the space of peace.



Divided We Fall part 2

The thing I love about making an opinion public is the critical responses. I need those to remind we where I'm stuck in ego (or just pretending to be). I pay attention when the feelings of defensiveness arise and start looking at the truth -- it's all just a story and no two people have the same one. Diversity is what makes life so rich, but it's important not to forget that diversity is ultimately an illusion of mind. I received the following comment in response to this blog post:

"​I see Donald Trump the total opposite of you.  Much of what you are reading is fake news in what is considered mainstream media.  Most of the hate crimes reported were hoaxes and many were perpetrated by leftist trying to besmirch the reputation of others.

I see so much light around Trump.  He is a blessing. Most liberals I know project all of their negative traits onto others....they lack self awareness.  Such vast generalizations you are making and such a condescending attitude.  Keep an open mind....it does wonders."

Here was my response:

Our opinions are shaped by the information we receive. I probably have only been exposed to one side of Trump. But when I heard him say that he wanted to hit another politician for saying bad things about him, I became concerned about someone with that attitude running the country. I was a bit surprised at the number of women who forgave his sexual misgivings (for lack of a better word).

It doesn't matter to me who's running the country. I have full trust in the Universe to do what's best. The end goal is to see light around everyone, not just Trump. He's my teacher. Teaching me how to be open to a so-called opposition. If I were to sit down and really do The Work, I would quickly see how he is just a projection of my own mind (but what fun would that be? ;).

I had to share my opinions in my post, despite the fact that I know opinions are at the root of separation, to illustrate how I overcame them. My comments allowed me to identify with the people I'm surrounded by and allow them to see the problems with holding onto their opinions too tightly.

I understand why so many people voted for him. They are tired of seeing politicians, especially career politicians, running things, and they think that someone who is more business minded would do a better job. Hilary was an unpopular option for a lot of people. I was really pulling for Bernie, but it really doesn't matter who's in office. They aren't really running the show. They are just part of it.

Much love,