It's been quite a while since my last blog post. Our little girl is two and a half now, and we've all been very busy. However, I finally had some time to type up all of the scribbled on pieces of paper I have. Below is the result of transcribing those notes. I'm sure much of this has been written before, but these words came through me at a personal level for what I was experiencing at that moment. My hope is that you will find some of these snippets beneficial in your search for what ever it is you search for :)
Riding the Wave of Realization
I realized lately that my default operating system is one based on Fear of Being Judged
Ego has to know exactly what's going on now, and wants to know what's going to happen next. In order to do that, it has to search out all of the possible outcomes mentally, latching on to one that sounds the best (or worst).
This is what Life wants for me, right now.
The only one judging you is you. So what if you're nuts? We all are, we're just too afraid to show it. Which makes us totally nuts - cut off from our freedom. Like Life in prison with no chance of parole. Be true to yourself. Be the Light that says, "This is the way it could Be for you if you are willing to be free."
Dance with reckless abandon :)
The teacher is the taught.
Stories wanting to be told. Recurring thoughts and feelings wanting to be met. What do I say to them, calling for my attention? Come, you are welcome here. Allow it, but don't believe it. What's it really saying? They're all just saying I love you and want to be with you.
In order for anything to exist, there has to be more than One.
MaryJane has been an extremely powerful spiritual teacher (as is intended) in my Life, because she has shown me that EVERYTHING has been a powerful teacher in my Life.
Hopping on a Plane Alone (poem)
The play of Life.
Watching it all unfold.
InJoying every minute of it.
Fear of judgment from supposed "others," changes my behavior to adjust to what I think they think.
Vegas on My Mind
There is no such thing as a dark cloud when seen from above.
They are all on their own little adventure. Question your thoughts on what they "should" be doing?
Open Mind Test
Change a belief for 30 seconds. Believe the opposite for a moment. See what it feels like. Then step back into your old belief and see how that feels. Don't get analytical about it. Just feel it, without judgment.
A fear of loss accompanies each feeling of joy.
Words that mean nothing
Being written by my hands
Shapes coming together
So you can understand
It means nothing
Judgment is neither bad nor good. It just is.
It functions by itself, without m doing. I watch with wonder and curiosity. Where is this thing going?
The wisest people know nothing.
I set the tone for everything I experience.
MaryJane - Effects - friendlier, kinder, light hearted, alert. Desire to mellow, meditate, move around, watch TV, be present with what is in an accepting way.
Curbed only by compassion.
Contemplate, "Stripped of aspiration." Feel it. There is nothing wrong with experiencing it for a moment or two.
The ego is afraid to ask questions. Heart knows there are none.
When you find yourself judging yourself, notice and laugh.
It's all unraveling as it should.
Agree. Appreciate. Acknowledge, Accept.
Worrying about what others think hurts physically and emotionally. Being okay with it heals.
I don't know how to Be in this space when fully present.
Action vs. Thought - Which comes first?
Ask yourself, "What does Spirit feel like?" Look at that animating force.
Life is full of necessary distractions.
Take a breath and shake it off.
What if it's not an insult, but stating a fact.
Cause of Seizures
in short, All Stories
Like it or not.
Riding the Wave of Realization: Fear, Doubt, Love and Trust
My wish for my Daughter - May she grow to know the True Self
Escape into reality
Why am I thinking?
Trying to make it look new, when it already is.
Don't have a preconceived notion about what it "should" be like.
Chasing demons, like the fear of being present.
Chasing newness. Look away and then back. It's new again.
Isn't it trippy?
The story makes it so.
Fear can turn into Bliss
Even if you think it has failed you, trust in Life. It never ended up like we thought it would, and we're still here.
Teacher - someone who shows you something you didn't know, or didn't know that you already knew.
You made that happen by coming to that conclusion in your mind. The mind sees what it wants to see.
With no story, it doesn't exist
Work related reminder - They'll just have to deal with it :)
Stop thoughts to see what is to be seen.
What if it doesn't happen on its own? Am I helping?
The ultimate surrender is the ego's final recognition that is is a Lie.
Ego is past. Balled up beliefs that shape a personality.
Belief - BeLIEf
I'm along for the ride.
Don't be the DJ of your life. Be the witness of the DJ.
Sadness - losing touch with what you thought reality was.
Trying to suppress our own happiness. For what?
Accomplishing things makes me feel good, but to remain happy I would need to keep creating tasks to complete.
A sense of obligation keeps us stuck.
Recognize that All is perfect, first hand. Your birthright is to know this.
You must become who you hate to know Love. You must love them for they are you. And you're the only Love we've got.
Hide and Seek with God - Hiding in plain sight, pretending not to know for the pure Joy of finding.
That's just another manifestation of me.
You take your perceived judgments of others to be who YOU are.
What do "they" see without "their" judgments of you?
Stop pretending that they are judging you at all.
There is nothing spiritual about finding happiness (or seeking it). It's just a spiritual experience when you find True Happiness.
Spend some quiet time by yourself when you get a chance to get in tune again with silence.
We keep coming back to the old way of doing things. We've been taught to communicate that way. And we rejoin people where they are, pretending to be something we're not.
Meet yourself in another.
Be still. Don't follow thoughts. Listen. Breath. Smile.
Poof - you're awake :)
Am I a spy?
This is a highly intelligent body. It's been keeping me alive for years without me.