I have been using a mantra of sorts lately when I'm feeling a bit stressed out by "others" -- "I am living with the Buddha." This applies to your significant others, or people that you only see on occasion. When you are encountering someone, you are living with them in that moment, and they are your teacher. And, as with various approaches to teaching Zen, the form of the teaching can vary from a compassionate embrace to a yelling drill Sargent. When you feel at odds with what is being encountered, try reminding yourself that you are living with, and being confronted by the Buddha. Their mission, even if they are unaware, is to get you to "wake up," which is to say realize that your beliefs about what "should" and "shouldn't" be are what holds you back from realizing the peace that lies prior to judgment. Welcome the teaching in whatever form it takes, and gratitude replaces attitude.