I have been using a mantra of sorts lately when I'm feeling a bit
stressed out by "others" -- "I am living with the Buddha." This applies
to your significant others, or people that you only see on occasion.
When you are encountering someone, you are living with them in that
moment, and they are your teacher. And, as with various approaches to
teaching Zen, the form of the teaching can vary from a compassionate
embrace to a yelling drill Sargent. When you feel at odds with what is
being encountered, try reminding yourself that you are living with, and
being confronted by the Buddha. Their mission, even if they are
unaware, is to get you to "wake up," which is to say realize that your
beliefs about what "should" and "shouldn't" be are what holds you back
from realizing the peace that lies prior to judgment. Welcome the
teaching in whatever form it takes, and gratitude replaces attitude.
Be well,
Trey
Life is a miraculous unfolding. Each moment is an invitation to "wake up" out of the dream of identification with the separate self and recognize that the Awareness or Consciousness that perceives everything is our True Nature. This Self-realization is what we all seek, whether we realize it or not, but we eventually have to stop seeking in order to discover its ever-present reality.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
A Few Simple Steps: The List
It came to me to compile steps that may be useful to the growing number of people seeking to know them Selves, or to Awaken, become Enlightened, or just get some damn peace. We’ll just call it “The List” for the sake of ease. Hopefully these will help “you” as much as they did “me.” (Preface everything with “In my experience.”)
1. Notice - Practicing mindfulness, or becoming the witness of your thoughts, is one of the most powerful things you can do (or not do). It seems like it takes work to start paying attention to the thoughts you have always been so attached to, but it’s less of a doing and more of an allowing.
2. Allow - When something (a life event of some sort) happens, we automatically allow and recognize it right away. Judgement comes a second later to, inadvertently, disguise that something as good or bad. That’s where the change happens and a story is born that takes you further from the truth. Knowing that you already allow everything isn’t enough, though, because judgments are what the unconscious mind is made up of. We have to consciously accept the things that would ordinarily upset us in order to transcend judgments. To do so we witness our thoughts, or physical reactive patterns, and train ourselves to notice those cues from the Universe. This is also part of the witnessing (re)training program.
3. Accept - At first I thought Accept and Allow were the same, but there is a fine line distinguishing the two of them. Allowing means that you’re admitting that what has been done, has been done, which can leave one feeling a bit detached. This is like the phrase, “It is what it is,” that I’ve been hearing lately. I find it encouraging to see a more non-judgmental way of thinking manifesting through this simple phrase, but full acceptance is deeper than that. In full acceptance, the true depth of the inevitability and necessity of this moment is experienced. A relaxation occurs naturally as we realize the fruitlessness of arguing with what has already happened. Regardless of what we believe, it had to be this way, right here, right now. From this realization, a sense of appreciation or gratitude can arise naturally. Not necessarily gratitude for what’s happened, but a gratitude for the realization that it had to be this way, and that no amount of trying on your part could have made a difference. What a relief. Now I can be more present and not dwell on the past.
4. Present moment awareness - Acceptance applies to the Nowness of the present moment, the isness of Now. The thing is, the Now is the only thing that can be fully accepted because there is no room for judgment in the present moment. When it comes to practicing being present in your life, there appears to be a continuum of depth. First, we use mindfulness to recognize when we are playing out past and future in our minds, then bring our attention back to the Now. This helps us create more peace by gradually disassociating from the stories we tell ourselves. On a deeper level, when we are Fully Present, judgment ceases to exist and everything is seen as being new and fresh, totally unclouded by the past. Then, and only then, can the miraculousness of an ever changing world be fully recognized. The Joy of Being is born out of the recognition that nothing is real outside of this moment.
5. Remember - It seems almost contradictory to remember (Latin root “Call to Mind”) to be present because it uses our “mind” to look at what’s beyond it. But the mind is an indispensable tool, even when it comes to transcending itself. Realizations, awakenings, etc., become tangible thoughts that can be conveyed in words, even if the words fall short of the simplicity of Now. “Just this.” Remember that there is just This. You are always fully present and aware of your existence. We’ve been in forgotten mode so long that it feels like we never knew it to begin with. Just remember the simplest pointer(s) that work for you. They will undoubtedly change as the journey unravels before you. Leave yourself notes if you need to, just to remind yourself that all there is is Now, and that all is well. Always!
6. Gratitude - There is so much in this Universe to be grateful for that you don’t have to look far to find 10 things. The mere existence of this planet is miraculous, not to mention that you exist to enjoy it. Even if you find something “wrong” or “bad” about a given situation in your life, from terrorist attacks to car accidents, it is impossible not to find something positive that came from that. Once you start to see the “silver lining” you start seeing it everywhere. Gratitude for your pure existence is enough, but your existence is not separate from the existence of the whole, which means gratitude becomes universal. Look at the silver lining without feeling guilty about overlooking the “negative” in any situation. There are enough people around to focus on the negative. Let them do their job. They don’t need your help.
7. Compassion - It comes with the understanding that things could not be any other way. People could not be any way other than they are. If “you” were in “their” shoes, having experienced their life, then you would be doing/saying exactly the same thing. When we’re unconscious, we are just playing out a story and have no choice to change it, even if we pretend to. You are them, and they are you. The Awareness that is looking through your eyes right now, is the same Awareness that is looking through their eyes right now. The shell and the mind are the only differences. Compassion and empathy are at your finger tips at all times. A simple shift in awareness is all it takes to forgive all.
8. Stopping - What’s the hurry? Stop frequently, if only for a split second. Waiting half a second before responding to someone can dramatically improve communication. It’s not like stopping to think about what you are going to do or say, though that might happen. It’s about breaking routine and habitual action. That momentary pause gives us a quick dip into presence, which allows a lot more positive actions to manifest. Take a deep breath if it helps bring the world to a seeming halt. Take frequent stop breaks throughout the day, a couple of seconds here and there just to be still (mentally and physically).
9. Self Forgiveness - Spiritual seekers (a.k.a. people who want to be happy) may find a road map in the form of words from a spiritual teacher, and that be just what they need. We seem to stumble upon teachings right when we need them, and we pick up the ones that resonate with us and leave the rest. In a lot of cases, we continue to follow the map, memorize it, look beyond it, find what we’re looking for, then apparently lose what we were looking for. Foretastes, glimpses, aha moments, awakenings, realizations, whatever you want to call experiencing Reality, leaves one with the knowing. That knowing then gets used as a yard stick to judge our current situation. If we’re not living that realization, then we don’t feel like we have it. Even if someone tells you that “it” can’t be lost, it may serve as a further damper on things because that is not your experience. The end result can vary from total disillusionment to disappointment to depression, or it can lead to a deeper level of acceptance and self forgiveness. Like it or not, it has to be this way. Your stress, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, all emanate from a place of resistance to the way things are, and in many cases the way “you” are. When you’re an Ass and you know better, when you find yourself being judgmental, when you lash out, when you do stupid things, it’s important to remember that those things are also necessary parts of your path. Welcoming even your ugliest parts of yourself brings about peace. In fact, there’s no other way to. You have to accept and forgive your unconscious behavior, in order to overcome those last pockets of resistence that hide out in self judgment. Accepting what is, doesn’t stop “out there.” It’s ALL inclusive.
10. Commitment - It seems at times like there is an insurmountable amount of mind identification going on, and that we are constantly getting sucked back into our egoic behavioral patterns. As previously mentioned, that can lead to disillusionment unless accepted as part of your journey. Constantly seeking anything, whether it be the present moment or self acceptance, can lead to burn out. The thing is, you don’t have a choice but to continue doing what you’re doing. If you’re reading these words, then you have already been bitten by the “enlightenment bug.” You’re already committed to “waking up.” You’re committed to giving up a great deal, especially the seeking itself. Make a conscious commitment to allow Life to guide you. Commit to surrender your beliefs in the name of Truth. Commit to it ALL.
1. Notice - Practicing mindfulness, or becoming the witness of your thoughts, is one of the most powerful things you can do (or not do). It seems like it takes work to start paying attention to the thoughts you have always been so attached to, but it’s less of a doing and more of an allowing.
2. Allow - When something (a life event of some sort) happens, we automatically allow and recognize it right away. Judgement comes a second later to, inadvertently, disguise that something as good or bad. That’s where the change happens and a story is born that takes you further from the truth. Knowing that you already allow everything isn’t enough, though, because judgments are what the unconscious mind is made up of. We have to consciously accept the things that would ordinarily upset us in order to transcend judgments. To do so we witness our thoughts, or physical reactive patterns, and train ourselves to notice those cues from the Universe. This is also part of the witnessing (re)training program.
3. Accept - At first I thought Accept and Allow were the same, but there is a fine line distinguishing the two of them. Allowing means that you’re admitting that what has been done, has been done, which can leave one feeling a bit detached. This is like the phrase, “It is what it is,” that I’ve been hearing lately. I find it encouraging to see a more non-judgmental way of thinking manifesting through this simple phrase, but full acceptance is deeper than that. In full acceptance, the true depth of the inevitability and necessity of this moment is experienced. A relaxation occurs naturally as we realize the fruitlessness of arguing with what has already happened. Regardless of what we believe, it had to be this way, right here, right now. From this realization, a sense of appreciation or gratitude can arise naturally. Not necessarily gratitude for what’s happened, but a gratitude for the realization that it had to be this way, and that no amount of trying on your part could have made a difference. What a relief. Now I can be more present and not dwell on the past.
4. Present moment awareness - Acceptance applies to the Nowness of the present moment, the isness of Now. The thing is, the Now is the only thing that can be fully accepted because there is no room for judgment in the present moment. When it comes to practicing being present in your life, there appears to be a continuum of depth. First, we use mindfulness to recognize when we are playing out past and future in our minds, then bring our attention back to the Now. This helps us create more peace by gradually disassociating from the stories we tell ourselves. On a deeper level, when we are Fully Present, judgment ceases to exist and everything is seen as being new and fresh, totally unclouded by the past. Then, and only then, can the miraculousness of an ever changing world be fully recognized. The Joy of Being is born out of the recognition that nothing is real outside of this moment.
5. Remember - It seems almost contradictory to remember (Latin root “Call to Mind”) to be present because it uses our “mind” to look at what’s beyond it. But the mind is an indispensable tool, even when it comes to transcending itself. Realizations, awakenings, etc., become tangible thoughts that can be conveyed in words, even if the words fall short of the simplicity of Now. “Just this.” Remember that there is just This. You are always fully present and aware of your existence. We’ve been in forgotten mode so long that it feels like we never knew it to begin with. Just remember the simplest pointer(s) that work for you. They will undoubtedly change as the journey unravels before you. Leave yourself notes if you need to, just to remind yourself that all there is is Now, and that all is well. Always!
6. Gratitude - There is so much in this Universe to be grateful for that you don’t have to look far to find 10 things. The mere existence of this planet is miraculous, not to mention that you exist to enjoy it. Even if you find something “wrong” or “bad” about a given situation in your life, from terrorist attacks to car accidents, it is impossible not to find something positive that came from that. Once you start to see the “silver lining” you start seeing it everywhere. Gratitude for your pure existence is enough, but your existence is not separate from the existence of the whole, which means gratitude becomes universal. Look at the silver lining without feeling guilty about overlooking the “negative” in any situation. There are enough people around to focus on the negative. Let them do their job. They don’t need your help.
7. Compassion - It comes with the understanding that things could not be any other way. People could not be any way other than they are. If “you” were in “their” shoes, having experienced their life, then you would be doing/saying exactly the same thing. When we’re unconscious, we are just playing out a story and have no choice to change it, even if we pretend to. You are them, and they are you. The Awareness that is looking through your eyes right now, is the same Awareness that is looking through their eyes right now. The shell and the mind are the only differences. Compassion and empathy are at your finger tips at all times. A simple shift in awareness is all it takes to forgive all.
8. Stopping - What’s the hurry? Stop frequently, if only for a split second. Waiting half a second before responding to someone can dramatically improve communication. It’s not like stopping to think about what you are going to do or say, though that might happen. It’s about breaking routine and habitual action. That momentary pause gives us a quick dip into presence, which allows a lot more positive actions to manifest. Take a deep breath if it helps bring the world to a seeming halt. Take frequent stop breaks throughout the day, a couple of seconds here and there just to be still (mentally and physically).
9. Self Forgiveness - Spiritual seekers (a.k.a. people who want to be happy) may find a road map in the form of words from a spiritual teacher, and that be just what they need. We seem to stumble upon teachings right when we need them, and we pick up the ones that resonate with us and leave the rest. In a lot of cases, we continue to follow the map, memorize it, look beyond it, find what we’re looking for, then apparently lose what we were looking for. Foretastes, glimpses, aha moments, awakenings, realizations, whatever you want to call experiencing Reality, leaves one with the knowing. That knowing then gets used as a yard stick to judge our current situation. If we’re not living that realization, then we don’t feel like we have it. Even if someone tells you that “it” can’t be lost, it may serve as a further damper on things because that is not your experience. The end result can vary from total disillusionment to disappointment to depression, or it can lead to a deeper level of acceptance and self forgiveness. Like it or not, it has to be this way. Your stress, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, all emanate from a place of resistance to the way things are, and in many cases the way “you” are. When you’re an Ass and you know better, when you find yourself being judgmental, when you lash out, when you do stupid things, it’s important to remember that those things are also necessary parts of your path. Welcoming even your ugliest parts of yourself brings about peace. In fact, there’s no other way to. You have to accept and forgive your unconscious behavior, in order to overcome those last pockets of resistence that hide out in self judgment. Accepting what is, doesn’t stop “out there.” It’s ALL inclusive.
10. Commitment - It seems at times like there is an insurmountable amount of mind identification going on, and that we are constantly getting sucked back into our egoic behavioral patterns. As previously mentioned, that can lead to disillusionment unless accepted as part of your journey. Constantly seeking anything, whether it be the present moment or self acceptance, can lead to burn out. The thing is, you don’t have a choice but to continue doing what you’re doing. If you’re reading these words, then you have already been bitten by the “enlightenment bug.” You’re already committed to “waking up.” You’re committed to giving up a great deal, especially the seeking itself. Make a conscious commitment to allow Life to guide you. Commit to surrender your beliefs in the name of Truth. Commit to it ALL.
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Mom's Memorial Service
Dear Mom,
I will always love you. I will always remember you. I will always cherish you. I will always be grateful to you. You have always been my number one supporter, and given me everything I could possibly want.
Your teachings have had a profound impact on the person I have become. Your creativity, your intelligence, your strength, your love and kindness, have served as an example of what it is to be a work of art.
Your legacy of love will carry on, and I will be sure that your Grand daughter knows all about you. I'm so glad you got to meet her and spend time with her while you were here. I loved watching you smile at her. I'll always remember that look of pure joy. Now that I'm experiencing parenthood, I have a new appreciation for that joy.
Thank you for giving me life. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Without my Dad I wouldn't be here. Without your love for one another, I wouldn't be here. How fortunate for me to have soul mates as parents. The Universe must really like me :)
My mission lately has been to develop a trust in Life that enables me to accept whatever it may bring. I feel that developing this trust in Life is much easier if you are brought up in a home that's safe and supportive, so in a way I have had a leg up in this mission.
However, regardless of how safe and supportive home life is, there is a big world out there full of people who weren't brought up by such a loving couple. It can be extremely challenging to maintain a high level of trust in Life once you've been around the playground a time or two.
But Love is my foundation, and years of covering it up with layers of protection can't change that. Now that I'm old enough and wise enough to see that I have been covering up that Love that I was born into, I am peeling back the layers to rediscover the core Love that we all share. That takes a lot of trust.
We have to trust that Life will be gentle with us as we become more vulnerable to it, as we gently surrender to it. We can be told that Life is trustworthy, and that it has our best interest at heart, but we ultimately have to find out on our own if that's true.
Inevitably, as we begin to put more trust in Life, something happens to throw us off. My Mom's initial diagnosis with cancer was a prime example. We were all very frightened when they found out because my Mom was in kidney failure and on death's doorstep. Despite the fatalistic view of some doctors at the time, she recovered to a large extent and was able to live for another year and a half. It's things like this that can shake our trust, but we need those challenges to help foster trust.
Over the last several years, I have learned that trusting Life is what makes it trustworthy. We create the world we see, and we can either see it as it truly is, from an open and trusting point of view, or we can see it as a dangerous and threatening place from the point of view of distrust.
In a way, the only control we have in this Life is the point of view we take. Life is going to have its way with us whether we like it or not. That's just what Life does. The only choice we have in the matter is Accept or Resist. In other words to trust or not to trust.
When we are reminded of how little control over Life we have, as often happens when a loved one passes away, it may create a heightened sense of fear, sadness and frustration. However, these reminders also create an opening for acceptance and trust to come in when we recognize the necessity of it all.
After all, if it has already happened, it was necessary. There is nothing we can do to change it, and there is nothing we could have done differently that could have changed it. Everything that happens is absolutely necessary, and when you accept that, you, in effect, accept everything for what it is, which is the secret to inner peace.
There are some important lessons here. If you are ready to be more at peace with whatever Life throws your way, the first thing is to know that you CAN be at peace during any given situation. The second thing is to realize that you might not want to be at peace during certain situations, which is perfectly fine, too.
Thirdly, your resistance to certain situations is also part of what is necessary. This is one of the key pieces to the puzzle of our return home to that place of trust and of Love - accept your resistance when that is part of your current experience.
Be compassionate toward that part of you that hates the way things are. What you are experiencing, whether we call it "good" or "bad" is necessary for your personal growth. Surprisingly enough, when you accept your own resistance, it no longer feels like resistance anymore.
Be kind to yourself. Don't hold yourself to some standard. Don't deny the unavoidableness of this moment. Allow room for the idea that Life has your best interest at heart, and that it's always kinder than you think. Allow yourself to surrender to Life once in a while when it seems like there are no alternatives. See what trust feels like when you're in a stressful situation.
My Mother made these words possible. Were it not for her, you would not be receiving this invitation to trust again right now. Much good has come from her life, and much good will continue to come even beyond her death. This is just a small taste of what she would have wanted you to hear.
I love you Mom,
Trey
PS - For more information about my Mom, JoAnn Carland, please visit www.carlandfoundation.org/JoAnn.html
I will always love you. I will always remember you. I will always cherish you. I will always be grateful to you. You have always been my number one supporter, and given me everything I could possibly want.
Your teachings have had a profound impact on the person I have become. Your creativity, your intelligence, your strength, your love and kindness, have served as an example of what it is to be a work of art.
Your legacy of love will carry on, and I will be sure that your Grand daughter knows all about you. I'm so glad you got to meet her and spend time with her while you were here. I loved watching you smile at her. I'll always remember that look of pure joy. Now that I'm experiencing parenthood, I have a new appreciation for that joy.
Thank you for giving me life. Without you, I wouldn't be here. Without my Dad I wouldn't be here. Without your love for one another, I wouldn't be here. How fortunate for me to have soul mates as parents. The Universe must really like me :)
My mission lately has been to develop a trust in Life that enables me to accept whatever it may bring. I feel that developing this trust in Life is much easier if you are brought up in a home that's safe and supportive, so in a way I have had a leg up in this mission.
However, regardless of how safe and supportive home life is, there is a big world out there full of people who weren't brought up by such a loving couple. It can be extremely challenging to maintain a high level of trust in Life once you've been around the playground a time or two.
But Love is my foundation, and years of covering it up with layers of protection can't change that. Now that I'm old enough and wise enough to see that I have been covering up that Love that I was born into, I am peeling back the layers to rediscover the core Love that we all share. That takes a lot of trust.
We have to trust that Life will be gentle with us as we become more vulnerable to it, as we gently surrender to it. We can be told that Life is trustworthy, and that it has our best interest at heart, but we ultimately have to find out on our own if that's true.
Inevitably, as we begin to put more trust in Life, something happens to throw us off. My Mom's initial diagnosis with cancer was a prime example. We were all very frightened when they found out because my Mom was in kidney failure and on death's doorstep. Despite the fatalistic view of some doctors at the time, she recovered to a large extent and was able to live for another year and a half. It's things like this that can shake our trust, but we need those challenges to help foster trust.
Over the last several years, I have learned that trusting Life is what makes it trustworthy. We create the world we see, and we can either see it as it truly is, from an open and trusting point of view, or we can see it as a dangerous and threatening place from the point of view of distrust.
In a way, the only control we have in this Life is the point of view we take. Life is going to have its way with us whether we like it or not. That's just what Life does. The only choice we have in the matter is Accept or Resist. In other words to trust or not to trust.
When we are reminded of how little control over Life we have, as often happens when a loved one passes away, it may create a heightened sense of fear, sadness and frustration. However, these reminders also create an opening for acceptance and trust to come in when we recognize the necessity of it all.
After all, if it has already happened, it was necessary. There is nothing we can do to change it, and there is nothing we could have done differently that could have changed it. Everything that happens is absolutely necessary, and when you accept that, you, in effect, accept everything for what it is, which is the secret to inner peace.
There are some important lessons here. If you are ready to be more at peace with whatever Life throws your way, the first thing is to know that you CAN be at peace during any given situation. The second thing is to realize that you might not want to be at peace during certain situations, which is perfectly fine, too.
Thirdly, your resistance to certain situations is also part of what is necessary. This is one of the key pieces to the puzzle of our return home to that place of trust and of Love - accept your resistance when that is part of your current experience.
Be compassionate toward that part of you that hates the way things are. What you are experiencing, whether we call it "good" or "bad" is necessary for your personal growth. Surprisingly enough, when you accept your own resistance, it no longer feels like resistance anymore.
Be kind to yourself. Don't hold yourself to some standard. Don't deny the unavoidableness of this moment. Allow room for the idea that Life has your best interest at heart, and that it's always kinder than you think. Allow yourself to surrender to Life once in a while when it seems like there are no alternatives. See what trust feels like when you're in a stressful situation.
My Mother made these words possible. Were it not for her, you would not be receiving this invitation to trust again right now. Much good has come from her life, and much good will continue to come even beyond her death. This is just a small taste of what she would have wanted you to hear.
I love you Mom,
Trey
PS - For more information about my Mom, JoAnn Carland, please visit www.carlandfoundation.org/JoAnn.html
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Watch Your Language
Well, Adorabella (as I like to call her) is 14 months old now, and walking all over the place. She also wants complete free roam of the house, which means following her everywhere. She’s a pure joy, but it is quite challenging to get things done as a work at home Dad in an environment with a baby who doesn’t believe in naps. It’s all a big learning game that I’m sure will never end, and we are very fortunate to have such a happy baby. We take her everywhere and she just loves to smile and wave at everyone she sees. It’s great to see the faces of other people just light up when they see her. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t brighten the day of a complete stranger (many of whom actually say so). And, not a day goes by that I don’t marvel at her mere existence, much less her unbelievable preciousness.
I could go on and on, and Shelby has thousands of pictures of Adorabella on Facebook, but just to give you a small taste of how beautiful our little girl is, here is a link to pictures from a photo shoot done when she turned a year old - http://www.reginaholder.net/izabella1yo/. Believe it or not, she keeps getting cuter :)
Anyway, though she isn’t speaking much English at this point (gibberish is our favorite language right now), she understands a great deal. She knows all sorts of words and some sign language to boot. We have learned to be careful what we say out loud and spell things from time to time when we don’t want her to pick up on something. It’s really mind blowing how smart she is and how quickly she absorbs things. You can almost see the new neural pathways being built as she moves about.
At this point, one of the logical issues that needs to be addressed is what words would we like her not to say once she graduates from gibberish. I typically don’t swear much except when I drop something or injure myself in some way. However, Shelby thinks we need to avoid profanity altogether, which takes me back to my youth when I decided I could say anything I wanted. My rationale was that words were simply vibrations of the vocal chords given meaning by someone hundreds of years ago. The meaning of those words was passed on from generation to generation and more words were added. Somewhere along the way, certain words were deemed rude by someone and that rumor was passed on until it became widespread. Today we have a list of words in the English language that are considered profane or vulgar.
In my youth I would have thought it silly to pass on such lessons to the newer generation, but now I’m faced with the reality that what I consider appropriate and what general society consider appropriate need to be balanced. That’s just the nature of teaching our kids how to get along in the world, which means I have to find other words to use when I would ordinarily cuss (or curse if you prefer). Right now I’m trying to use the word “bleep” in situations that need some added emphasis.
Then, of course, there is the teaching of basic language and what we say when we refer to things. For example, we have dogs so she knows what the word dog refers to. However, there are also stuffed dogs, plastic toy dogs, pictures of dogs in books, etc. For me, this is where the potential for confusion comes in. We are referring to all of these things as dogs, which basically means we are lying to her. It seems like it would be confusing when we say “Look at the doggie,” pointing to a four legged creature covered with fur standing next to her, then turn to a book or a toy and do the same thing. I’m sure she will reconcile the discrepancy sooner rather than later, but it reminded me that language is where we start losing site of what’s real.
Though it’s necessary for us to tell little white lies in order for Adorabella to get along in the world, the end result could be covering up everything she currently experiences with wide eyed innocence with words. As we label everything for her, the world of mystery and wonder starts getting intertwined with words. A dog is not really a dog. Dog is a word invented by some Latin guy (I think they invented most of the words we use today) and passed on as truth. The truth is that a dog is a beautiful being that a word doesn’t do justice. But we have to call it something, until we don’t. At some point we can unwind the labels from the objects so that we can again see things from that place of wonder. When you drop the stories and labels covering up reality, then enlightened being is able to flourish. Basically we have to learn the language, then unlearn it, as in recognize words for what they truly are – tools.
It’s interesting being a part of this long line of perpetrators who are passing on little white lies. We take what we were taught, customize it to our liking and pass it on. Each generation gets to do the same thing, on and on.
The reminder here is to realize that words are actually hiding what’s real. As Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?” What would a dog be if there wasn’t a name for such a thing? Who would you be without a name? I invite you to look at what’s hidden behind the labels we have for everything (including our selves) and do some unlearning of your own by loosening your grip on what you believe to be true. All we have is an alphabet of letters arranged by, and given meaning to, by some ancient society. Can we really believe that’s it? What if there were no words for anything? Then All is One. No separation. No distinction. Even so, we never lose sight of the art of communication we learned as children. We just see beyond the alphabet when we really look.
Word Up!
Trey
I could go on and on, and Shelby has thousands of pictures of Adorabella on Facebook, but just to give you a small taste of how beautiful our little girl is, here is a link to pictures from a photo shoot done when she turned a year old - http://www.reginaholder.net/izabella1yo/. Believe it or not, she keeps getting cuter :)
Anyway, though she isn’t speaking much English at this point (gibberish is our favorite language right now), she understands a great deal. She knows all sorts of words and some sign language to boot. We have learned to be careful what we say out loud and spell things from time to time when we don’t want her to pick up on something. It’s really mind blowing how smart she is and how quickly she absorbs things. You can almost see the new neural pathways being built as she moves about.
At this point, one of the logical issues that needs to be addressed is what words would we like her not to say once she graduates from gibberish. I typically don’t swear much except when I drop something or injure myself in some way. However, Shelby thinks we need to avoid profanity altogether, which takes me back to my youth when I decided I could say anything I wanted. My rationale was that words were simply vibrations of the vocal chords given meaning by someone hundreds of years ago. The meaning of those words was passed on from generation to generation and more words were added. Somewhere along the way, certain words were deemed rude by someone and that rumor was passed on until it became widespread. Today we have a list of words in the English language that are considered profane or vulgar.
In my youth I would have thought it silly to pass on such lessons to the newer generation, but now I’m faced with the reality that what I consider appropriate and what general society consider appropriate need to be balanced. That’s just the nature of teaching our kids how to get along in the world, which means I have to find other words to use when I would ordinarily cuss (or curse if you prefer). Right now I’m trying to use the word “bleep” in situations that need some added emphasis.
Then, of course, there is the teaching of basic language and what we say when we refer to things. For example, we have dogs so she knows what the word dog refers to. However, there are also stuffed dogs, plastic toy dogs, pictures of dogs in books, etc. For me, this is where the potential for confusion comes in. We are referring to all of these things as dogs, which basically means we are lying to her. It seems like it would be confusing when we say “Look at the doggie,” pointing to a four legged creature covered with fur standing next to her, then turn to a book or a toy and do the same thing. I’m sure she will reconcile the discrepancy sooner rather than later, but it reminded me that language is where we start losing site of what’s real.
Though it’s necessary for us to tell little white lies in order for Adorabella to get along in the world, the end result could be covering up everything she currently experiences with wide eyed innocence with words. As we label everything for her, the world of mystery and wonder starts getting intertwined with words. A dog is not really a dog. Dog is a word invented by some Latin guy (I think they invented most of the words we use today) and passed on as truth. The truth is that a dog is a beautiful being that a word doesn’t do justice. But we have to call it something, until we don’t. At some point we can unwind the labels from the objects so that we can again see things from that place of wonder. When you drop the stories and labels covering up reality, then enlightened being is able to flourish. Basically we have to learn the language, then unlearn it, as in recognize words for what they truly are – tools.
It’s interesting being a part of this long line of perpetrators who are passing on little white lies. We take what we were taught, customize it to our liking and pass it on. Each generation gets to do the same thing, on and on.
The reminder here is to realize that words are actually hiding what’s real. As Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?” What would a dog be if there wasn’t a name for such a thing? Who would you be without a name? I invite you to look at what’s hidden behind the labels we have for everything (including our selves) and do some unlearning of your own by loosening your grip on what you believe to be true. All we have is an alphabet of letters arranged by, and given meaning to, by some ancient society. Can we really believe that’s it? What if there were no words for anything? Then All is One. No separation. No distinction. Even so, we never lose sight of the art of communication we learned as children. We just see beyond the alphabet when we really look.
Word Up!
Trey
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Practicing the Power of Now Workshop
Practicing the Power of Now Workshop
Building Present Moment Awareness
➢ Would you like to be more present in your life?
➢ Would you like to explore your True Nature?
➢ Are you interested in Enlightenment?
➢ Would you like to find more inner peace?
In this two hour workshop, Trey Carland, will assist you in exploring what it is like to be fully present, and to see what you truly are underneath all of the stories you have about yourself (and others). Using simple meditation techniques, Self-inquiry and The Work, Trey will help guide you to That which you seek. No prior knowledge of any spiritual teaching is required.
Trey has been a long time student of Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, and has been facilitating the Awakening Practices Group since 2007. He has experienced several awakenings over the years, and has both experiential understanding and intellectual knowledge of enlightened Being.
Suggested donation is $15 and includes a free copy of Trey’s book. Register online at the link below (books will be given out at the workshop).
Please contact Trey if you plan to register on site and you will be put on the registration list: TreyCarland@gmail.com or 828-670-8283
Details:
Wednesday, May 29, from 7:00 to 9:00 pm
West Asheville Library
942 Haywood Road
Asheville, NC
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Baby Steps
As I watch her crawl and stand up (she’ll be walking very soon), it got me to thinking about what drives the developing baby. What makes them tick? Why do they crawl? Why do they stand, walk, etc.? My wife and I certainly are not teaching her things. We’re just watching in awe as she develops these new abilities on her own.
Though scientists might explain this drive to move as genetic programming or some such thing, I see an invisible force that is driving us, guiding us to act. That force is like a primordial intelligence that knows what needs to be done. In the beginning, when we are too young to start formulating opinions or analyzing things, we just naturally go with the flow without questioning that intelligence. But as we grow older, we begin to question that force, even resist its urges. We may be encouraged to ignore the innate urges by our parents in situations where curiosity might put us in harm’s way. Right now there are only a few things cropping up that we’re discouraging, such as pulling Mommy’s hair and trying to eat things that aren’t really edible (baby’s apparently like to explore things with their mouths).
The older we get, the more things we are guided to do or not do, which is based at least partly on our caregiver’s level of trust in that innate force that drives us all. Therefore, this lack of trust in, we’ll just call it Life, gets passed down from one generation to the next. But before parents go blaming themselves for raising children with a lack of trust in Life, it’s important to realize that one’s lack of trust in Life is also a crucial part of Life’s driving force. Things are as they are because they could be no other way, and what is appearing now is what Life wants for us.
So, if you think that you “could” have or “should” have done something differently in the past, you are believing in a lie (interestingly enough the word “believe” has the word “lie” built into it). That lie is that you know better than Life, and that you could have done a better job than Life had intended for you. This is why reliving the past and playing the “What if things had been different?” game is a lose-lose proposition.
Like it or not, it had to be this way. That’s why the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, and the like, are so crucial to obtaining the peace we all desire. Tolle has summed up his teachings at one point or another by saying, “All you really have to do is accept this moment fully...” That’s what Life wants for you. Our mind comes in with its lack of trust and casts doubt on what may happen if we accept the unavoidable isness of this moment (i.e. we’ll never do anything to make changes in our lives, etc.), but that doubt, too, is part of Life’s plan for us. We doubt because there is no other way – until there is the realization that there is another way.
If you’re reading these words, I suspect that you are making baby steps toward the innocence you had when you were born, when you had no choice but to trust Life because you knew no other way. You’ve been introduced to the idea that there is another way, which is to live in alignment with Life. You’ve already learned how to avoid touching hot stoves and how not to lick the floor, so set aside your distrust and let Life start doing the work for you – one baby step at a time.
Here’s a quote from my Notes on Inner Peace to ponder, “What if life is unfolding just as it is supposed to, and you didn’t have to make anything happen? What if it has been making everything fall into place from the very beginning, without you needing to worry, ever?”
As Byron Katie likes to say, “Let Life live you. It does anyway.”
Peace, Love and Life to you,
Trey
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Book Reading at Malaprop's Bookstore in Asheville, NC
Hey friends and family,
I haven't had time to write you with an update in a while now, but suffice it to say that Izabella is keeping us on our toes. She's almost 9 months now, and crawling around like crazy. She's trying to stand up on her own and will probably be taking her first steps within a week or so. She's a beautiful, precious, little bundle of joy, and continues to be the light and love of our lives :)
I'll have more to report later, but in the meantime I wanted to share the exciting news (in case you haven't already heard). This Sunday I will be doing a book reading/signing at Malaprop’s Bookstore in downtown Asheville at 3:00 pm. If you're anywhere within a hundred mile radius or so, come on down. I'll be joined by Prajna Ana, and Brian Piergrossi, who are both authors and spiritual teachers in the Asheville area.
I will be presenting selections from my book, “A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self.” Prajna will be featuring her new book, “Dying Into This.” And Brian will be featuring his book, “The Wow of the Now: Awakening To The Big Glow Within.” The three of us share a passion for Awakening/Enlightenment/Self Realization and a desire to share that passion with the world. It promises to be a very “enlightening” discussion. More information on each of the books is included below. I hope to see you there.
Much love,
Trey
PS - Please share this information with anyone you think might be interested.
PRESS RELEASE
Book Reading Event at Malaprop’s Bookstore in Downtown Asheville
Sunday, January 13th, at 3:00 pm
Please join Trey Carland, Prajna Ana, and Brian Piergrossi for a book reading and discussion on January 13th.
Trey will be presenting selections from his book, “A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace.” Prajna will be featuring her new book, “Dying Into This.” And Brian will be featuring his book, “The Wow of the Now: Awakening To The Big Glow Within.” More information on each of the books is included below.
“A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self,” by Trey Carland
I believe my book is best described by Katie Davis, spiritual teacher and author of "Awake Joy: The Essence of Enlightenment" (www.katiedavis.org)
"A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace" is a spiritual gem. I love this well written and intelligent book. The light of love, compassion and wisdom shines through every page. Trey Carland writes in a personable and pragmatic manner that is both kind and wise. The reader is fully engaged and one senses that they could be sitting in the same room with the author enjoying an open and honest conversation with a true Heart friend.
The book is a journal of life situation encounters that reflect deep insights and realizations. They skillfully support the inner pathway to conscious freedom and inner peace. Throughout the book, Trey shares inspiring quotes, recommended books, helpful practices and meditations to meet those apparent obstacles the seeker meets. He then gently points toward the ever open doorway to the light that one genuinely is. The "Notes to Self" demonstrate a deeply contemplated life that is fully enriched by direct understanding. A Seeker's Guide is the seeker's choice." ~ Katie Davis
“The events in our lives serve as sign posts we can either choose to ignore or follow. If we ignore them, we might end up driving in circles for a while, in which case we will encounter recurring themes. If we pay attention and use our intuition as a guide, we might end up getting to our final destination in One Peace.” - Trey Carland
About the Author
Trey was born in Asheville, North Carolina, and currently lives in Candler, NC. He is the co-founder of the Asheville Sangha online community (www.AshevilleSangha.com), which was developed for people interested in non-duality, self-realization, meditation, enlightenment, etc. He also facilitates the Awakening Practices Group, an Eckhart Tolle centered meditation/discussion group, in the Asheville area twice per month. Trey invites contact and exchange with anyone who feels a draw or a need. You can reach him and access his blog through his website (www.treycarland.com).
“Dying Into This” by Prajna Ana
We have reached a critical stage in our evolution. What is being asked of us now is to relate to each other from a higher state of consciousness, one born of love and compassion. Dying Into This offers a very practical, accessible message of transformation through love. Written outside of the confines of any religion, order, or philosophy, its clear message simply helps the reader to recognize their innate wisdom. The book supports and cultivates the goodness of each individual by reminding them of their true heart, thereby restoring a deep connection to all of life. Only once we each get in touch with that can any real, positive change happen.
“It is undeniable how connected we all are – to God, to self, and to each other. Once this is seen, we move from love – and that is how we will transform the world – one heart at a time.’
– Prajna Ana
About the Author
Prajna Ana lives in Asheville, North Carolina. Although she does not prescribe to any dogma or religious structure, she honors the timeless wisdom within them all. It is from this space of openness where she invites you to un-know and discover the truth for yourself. Prajna is author of Dying Into This and founder of Lamp of the Heart. For more information, visit www.lampoftheheart.org.
“The Wow of the Now: Awakening to the Big Glow Within,” by Brian Piergrossi
“The Wow of the Now' is the new book of meditations, prayers, insights and poems from Brian Piergrossi articulating a new, unique spiritual teaching for the 21st Century. It's not just a book, it's an energetic vibration. It's a heart-felt invitation to awaken to your true essence and potential. It's a new culture. It's a growing movement to live authentically with presence in each moment. Join the movement and discover the Big Glow within! Praise for The Wow of the Now: 'These are not just words written on a page, the writings in this book are so much deeper. I laughed, I cried, I felt a deep feeling of enoughness and a soothing, cleansing, peace all wrapped up in a warm blanket of love. I didn't just read this book. I felt this book.' - Gaila Robinson, Counselor
Brian Piergrossi is the Author of The Big Glow and The Wow of the Now, Life Coach and Spiritual Teacher. He lives in Asheville, North Carolina.'
I haven't had time to write you with an update in a while now, but suffice it to say that Izabella is keeping us on our toes. She's almost 9 months now, and crawling around like crazy. She's trying to stand up on her own and will probably be taking her first steps within a week or so. She's a beautiful, precious, little bundle of joy, and continues to be the light and love of our lives :)
I'll have more to report later, but in the meantime I wanted to share the exciting news (in case you haven't already heard). This Sunday I will be doing a book reading/signing at Malaprop’s Bookstore in downtown Asheville at 3:00 pm. If you're anywhere within a hundred mile radius or so, come on down. I'll be joined by Prajna Ana, and Brian Piergrossi, who are both authors and spiritual teachers in the Asheville area.
I will be presenting selections from my book, “A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self.” Prajna will be featuring her new book, “Dying Into This.” And Brian will be featuring his book, “The Wow of the Now: Awakening To The Big Glow Within.” The three of us share a passion for Awakening/Enlightenment/Self Realization and a desire to share that passion with the world. It promises to be a very “enlightening” discussion. More information on each of the books is included below. I hope to see you there.
Much love,
Trey
PS - Please share this information with anyone you think might be interested.
--
______________________________________________
A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self, by Trey Carland
- compassion-blog.blogspot.com
- www.facebook.com/trey.carland
______________________________________________
A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self, by Trey Carland
- compassion-blog.blogspot.com
- www.facebook.com/trey.carland
PRESS RELEASE
Book Reading Event at Malaprop’s Bookstore in Downtown Asheville
Sunday, January 13th, at 3:00 pm
Please join Trey Carland, Prajna Ana, and Brian Piergrossi for a book reading and discussion on January 13th.
Trey will be presenting selections from his book, “A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace.” Prajna will be featuring her new book, “Dying Into This.” And Brian will be featuring his book, “The Wow of the Now: Awakening To The Big Glow Within.” More information on each of the books is included below.
“A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self,” by Trey Carland
I believe my book is best described by Katie Davis, spiritual teacher and author of "Awake Joy: The Essence of Enlightenment" (www.katiedavis.org)
"A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace" is a spiritual gem. I love this well written and intelligent book. The light of love, compassion and wisdom shines through every page. Trey Carland writes in a personable and pragmatic manner that is both kind and wise. The reader is fully engaged and one senses that they could be sitting in the same room with the author enjoying an open and honest conversation with a true Heart friend.
The book is a journal of life situation encounters that reflect deep insights and realizations. They skillfully support the inner pathway to conscious freedom and inner peace. Throughout the book, Trey shares inspiring quotes, recommended books, helpful practices and meditations to meet those apparent obstacles the seeker meets. He then gently points toward the ever open doorway to the light that one genuinely is. The "Notes to Self" demonstrate a deeply contemplated life that is fully enriched by direct understanding. A Seeker's Guide is the seeker's choice." ~ Katie Davis
“The events in our lives serve as sign posts we can either choose to ignore or follow. If we ignore them, we might end up driving in circles for a while, in which case we will encounter recurring themes. If we pay attention and use our intuition as a guide, we might end up getting to our final destination in One Peace.” - Trey Carland
About the Author
Trey was born in Asheville, North Carolina, and currently lives in Candler, NC. He is the co-founder of the Asheville Sangha online community (www.AshevilleSangha.com), which was developed for people interested in non-duality, self-realization, meditation, enlightenment, etc. He also facilitates the Awakening Practices Group, an Eckhart Tolle centered meditation/discussion group, in the Asheville area twice per month. Trey invites contact and exchange with anyone who feels a draw or a need. You can reach him and access his blog through his website (www.treycarland.com).
“Dying Into This” by Prajna Ana
We have reached a critical stage in our evolution. What is being asked of us now is to relate to each other from a higher state of consciousness, one born of love and compassion. Dying Into This offers a very practical, accessible message of transformation through love. Written outside of the confines of any religion, order, or philosophy, its clear message simply helps the reader to recognize their innate wisdom. The book supports and cultivates the goodness of each individual by reminding them of their true heart, thereby restoring a deep connection to all of life. Only once we each get in touch with that can any real, positive change happen.
“It is undeniable how connected we all are – to God, to self, and to each other. Once this is seen, we move from love – and that is how we will transform the world – one heart at a time.’
– Prajna Ana
About the Author
Prajna Ana lives in Asheville, North Carolina. Although she does not prescribe to any dogma or religious structure, she honors the timeless wisdom within them all. It is from this space of openness where she invites you to un-know and discover the truth for yourself. Prajna is author of Dying Into This and founder of Lamp of the Heart. For more information, visit www.lampoftheheart.org.
“The Wow of the Now: Awakening to the Big Glow Within,” by Brian Piergrossi
“The Wow of the Now' is the new book of meditations, prayers, insights and poems from Brian Piergrossi articulating a new, unique spiritual teaching for the 21st Century. It's not just a book, it's an energetic vibration. It's a heart-felt invitation to awaken to your true essence and potential. It's a new culture. It's a growing movement to live authentically with presence in each moment. Join the movement and discover the Big Glow within! Praise for The Wow of the Now: 'These are not just words written on a page, the writings in this book are so much deeper. I laughed, I cried, I felt a deep feeling of enoughness and a soothing, cleansing, peace all wrapped up in a warm blanket of love. I didn't just read this book. I felt this book.' - Gaila Robinson, Counselor
Brian Piergrossi is the Author of The Big Glow and The Wow of the Now, Life Coach and Spiritual Teacher. He lives in Asheville, North Carolina.'
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