I have been on a “spiritual path” as it is sometimes called,
for a dozen years or so. I didn’t choose to be on one. It chose me. When I
became what is sometimes called a “seeker” it was not a conscious choice, but
something I had to do. I was overcome with the desire to know the ultimate
Truth of what we are and why we’re here. The circumstances that led to the
birth of the seeker are discussed in another post (LINK) and not relevant to
this discussion. Suffice it to say that I received a “wake up call” which could
also be called a “call to awaken.” I got the call and I had to answer. At that
point, Life began setting things in place that would serve me on this journey. Trey
the “Seeker” eventually turned into an “Awakener” (the way I use the terms, a
Seeker is one who is looking for fulfillment through a number of spiritual
outlets or techniques, while an Awakener has had a glimpse(s) of the Truth and
has a more narrowed focus on waking up).
A recent conversation prompted me to answer the question,
“What does spiritual awakening mean to you?” In a nutshell, this person I call
Trey is not who I really am. What I truly am, is Awareness (aka Consciousness).
Some people have heard variations of this sentiment hundreds of times from a
wide variety of sages and teachers from around the world. To those who have not
heard it before, it may sound rather silly. But the realization that one is
actually just Awareness and not a person is what Awakening is all about.
Self-realization (aka enlightenment) is the recognition of one’s self as
Awareness.
“Why would a person want to realize such a thing?” one might
ask. Well, the answer lies in how Life is experienced from the perspective of
Awareness. When one stops identifying themselves as a person and begins to
identify as Awareness, the limiting beliefs about the individual (and
others) fall away, leaving the unclouded essential nature of this moment. From
what I’ve seen in spending time with awakened people, the awakened character is
loving, compassionate, accepting, non-judgmental, supportive, kind, authentic,
empathetic, courageous, and unaffected by negativity. Though it may seem odd on
the surface, when we no longer feel identified with the character we’re playing,
we become beacons of light and love in the world.
About My Character’s Path
Trey’s path has been one of presence, acceptance and
surrender. Some of my greatest early influences were Eckhart Tolle and Byron
Katie. Despite resonating deeply with their teachings, I did not blindly adopt
that path overnight. It feels as though I (the character) has been in a gradual
trust building exercise with Life. I read the works of teachers then applied
them to different areas of my life. The outcome was one of reassurance time and
time again. I have gone through a number of challenging circumstances, and when
applied correctly, this path of accepting all that comes transformed challenges
into gifts. I started seeing the silver lining in all the clouds. In fact, challenging
situations turned into opportunities to awaken more deeply.
A couple of years ago, Self-inquiry came alive in me. Self-inquiry
is simply the act of becoming aware of Awareness. Ramana Maharshi, considered
by most to be father of Self-inquiry, told his students to ask, “Who am I?” and
then direct attention toward the source to which that question points (Rupert
Spira does a great job of explaining it in this short video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG9WuSk5gTI).
This seemingly simple practice led
numerous people to wake up, and many of those who woke up became teachers and
began spreading the same Truth they found. Though each teacher has their own
personal style, what they are saying is ultimately the same thing: We are all
Awareness.
As I practiced Self-inquiry, or redirecting Awareness toward
Awareness, it led to the ability to rest in Awareness for short periods, which
often times is accompanied by blissful states and feelings of oneness. However,
it can also bring up a number of challenging issues that need to be
acknowledged. Some say “spiritual bypassing” occurs when someone uses a spiritual
path to avoid dealing with negativity, but that’s just like hitting the snooze
button on an alarm clock. Whatever it is that needs to be addressed will arise
again until it is effectively met. For me, acceptance and surrender have been
the tools used to deal with all that arises. Through this process, Life has
become my teacher and I trust it completely to show me what I need to see.
As an aside, Ramana has said that the only two paths to Self-realization
are Self-inquiry and surrender, and that all other paths eventually lead to one
of those two entry points. Self-inquiry is considered the direct path. The
complete surrender Ramana spoke about is not easy for most people. The people
capable of total surrender are often those who have hit rock bottom and have
lost the will to live (as was the case with Eckhart and Katie). One could say
that complete surrender, as described by Ramana, leads to awakening, and
situational surrender (more like I have been practicing) leads to being at
peace with the situation at hand.
In the group sessions I’ve been facilitating for many years
now, I see a lot of is people who have learned these various practices and
techniques and have used them to lead a more peaceful life. Most of them have
had a glimpse of the truth to which spiritual teachers point, which fuels their
quest for enlightenment. It can also lead to the creation of what some call the
“spiritual ego,” which is the belief that they are a person who is connected
to Awareness, rather than just Awareness. I have seen this in myself and
others, and it can be a confusing period where we continue to act out our egoic
conditioning in our personal relationships while being able to experience
blissful states in other areas of our lives. In short, the awakening process is
not complete. So what to do?
There’s an old saying, “When the student is ready, the
teacher will appear.” I have seen that proved true many times in my life. The
most recent example was a few months ago, when Dan Kelso appeared with what he
calls Deep Self Investigation (DSI). After talking with Dan at great length, it
became clear that DSI is the antidote for those of us still identified with the
character, despite having numerous awakening experiencing confirming that we
are in fact Awareness.
DSI is a more fine-tuned version of Self-inquiry designed to
root out all of the beliefs we have to support identification with the
character. I sometimes call it Self-inquiry 2.0 because it goes deeper than
just becoming aware of Awareness. One can merge with Awareness in doing Self-inquiry,
but still be identified as the character who is merging with Awareness. When
DSI is used, more focused attention is directed toward those beliefs
that make us feel limited in any way. We question those beliefs, relying
only on our direct experience to verify the answers (not what we have learned
or been told by others).
I have had some profound realizations in working with Dan
and DSI. In the last session I realized what I have heard numerous teachers say
on countless occasions – You are already awake, you just don’t realize it yet. Yes,
we have always been aware throughout every moment of our lives. Whether the
character was (is) experiencing sorrow or bliss, Awareness was (is) present and
noticing. Awareness is always just aware. And I am Awareness. In effect,
Awareness has never been lost in identification with Trey, it has just been seeing
Trey and Trey has been believing that Trey is only awake during certain
states of expansiveness. This is an example of how beliefs about
spiritual awakening mask the ever-present Awareness that we already are, and
always have been. One must be willing to surrender ALL beliefs, whether
they have to do with spiritual awakening or being a person, in order to see
what we truly are.
In gratitude,
Trey
* Belief – I like to think that the inventors of the
English language deliberately inserted the word “lie” in the middle of the word
belief so that we would remember that beliefs are not true. Whether that’s true
or not, it has been made clear to me that there are no such things as true
beliefs. How do we know if what we think is a belief or fact? According to one
teacher I sat with, if anyone on the planet would disagree with the thought, it’s
a belief. There is nothing wrong with beliefs. We use them to navigate in this
world. However, what we believe shapes how we see the world, so it’s important
to question them to make sure they are in fact true in order to ensure we are
living in alignment with what is. The Work of Byron Katie is all about
questioning beliefs and has helped tens of thousands of people see how their
thoughts limit their experience of life - https://thework.com.
Note about Dan Kelso:
One of the great things about Dan is that he is wide awake
and is a shining example of what Awakened Living looks like. He radiates
happiness, compassion and love, all while being an ordinary, down-to-earth guy
who doesn’t want to be looked up to as a teacher. Instead he is just a good
friend suggesting that one look deeper. One of the things he likes to point out
is that we already are Awareness. We are already the fully awakened
consciousness we’re seeking. He just wants to help people see it for themselves,
which is where DSI comes in. Each DSI session I have with Dan brings more
insight and less identification with the character. You can find out more about
DSI at http://deepselfinvestigation.com/about.
