ATTENTION AND INQUIRY

When asked to summarize his teachings in one word, Ramana Maharshi said, “Attention.” That struck home in a deeper way the most recent time I heard it. I thought he would have said, “Silence,” because that what his preferred method of teaching. But his answer makes perfect sense. His teachings on Self-inquiry are all about directing attention from the world of thoughts and objects to the source of attention. Attention has been described as focused Awareness and is the “tool” (if we can call it that) through which things are known. Without attention on something, it is unregistered as existing. For most people, attention is focused on thoughts much of the time and can seem like it’s getting “lost in thought” on a regular basis. But the purpose of inquiry is to withdraw attention from thoughts and the world and direct it toward Awareness. Ramana’s teaching recommended using the simple question, “Who am I?” and then direct attention toward the “I-thought” to which that question points. It’s a simple but powerful way to see through the illusion of separation.

Because of its simplicity and directness, Self-inquiry is also referred to as the direct path to Self-realization (aka Enlightenment, Awakening, Happiness, etc.). Inquiry is a practice that came alive in me a few years ago as I was absorbing teachings from Mooji and Rupert Spira (to name just a few). Then, Dan Kelso and Deep Self Investigation entered the picture about a year ago or so. My work with Dan and DSI over the last year has taken Self-inquiry to a new level and has led to numerous breakthroughs, increased clarity and less identification with the imagined separate self (aka character, ego, etc.). DSI introduced new questions (beyond the traditional, “Who am I?”) and a new way of directing attention. This practice has led to more inquiry questions, all aimed at directing attention toward Awareness and “seeing” what we truly are.

The Nature of Attention

I have talked with Dan K about the nature of attention on a few occasions and discovered that, on the one hand, it seems to have a will of its own and goes where it wants, when it wants. On the other hand, it appears that there is some limited capacity to “control” where it goes. For example, if I say, “Direct attention toward your left foot,” attention would most likely go to your left foot. If I say, “What’s that over there?” and point to an object, attention will most likely go toward that object. Since the invitation of Self-inquiry is to withdraw attention from the world of objects and thoughts and turn toward its aware Source, redirecting attention is the key. 

That said, I have found that asking a good question is one of the best ways to direct attention. We are all conditioned from the time we are young to answer questions, which involves directing attention toward where we think we will find the answers. Once on the path of awakening, it becomes clear that the answers to Life’s most important questions are not found “out there” or even in the mind, but instead found in its Source. How do we find the Source? Ask a question that leads attention to it. 

Another good thing about a teaching based on asking questions is that the questioner gets to discover the answer firsthand, instead of believing it secondhand. Secondhand information is what our identities are built on, so it’s time to discard it and rely only on firsthand information. All of the good teachers out there will tell you, “Do not believe what I say, check for yourself.” If we could believe ourselves into Self-realization there would be a lot more wakefulness in the world. Instead, it has to be experienced directly in order for true transformation to take place.

Line of Questioning

A number of inquiry questions have come to this character through various teachers (i.e. Dan Kelso, Rupert Spira, Mooji, Robert Adams, Ramana, Nisaragadatta, etc.). New questions started coming to the surface as I began exploring the nature of Consciousness, so I have been keeping a list of questions that have been useful for inquiry and hope it will be beneficial to “others” on the same path. 

So, consider this an invitation to let go of all your beliefs and ideas about Enlightenment, Awakening, Self-realization, Awareness, Consciousness, etc., and put all of the teachings aside. All of that goes with the rest of the secondhand information we’ve accumulated. Then, sit with each of these questions and look with your own direct experience to where they point. These questions are not designed to be answered with the mind. They are intended to invite attention to discover the experiential answer.

 [See the Comments section for the inquiry questions and practice. Audio recordings of these are available at on my Question the Orthodox Podcast site.]

Dealing with Anxiety

I had a nice conversation with a friend of mine who reached out for some support regarding feelings of anxiety that had become a recurring theme. It's a common feeling we've all felt at one time or another and possibly a feeling that is being triggered more frequently by all of the things going on in the world. My friend seemed to benefit from the words I shared so I thought it might be helpful to put them out there for public consumption. Though this conversation dealt specifically with anxiety, which is just another flavor of what we call fear, the same practice could be used with other emotions as well.

First, check to see whether there is a feeling of anxiety currently being experienced. It's helpful if the sense of anxiety is already present, but it can also be conjured up by thinking thoughts that have triggered anxiety in the past. Once you notice that anxiety is present, I invite you to investigate what it feels like. How do you know anxiety is present? What does anxiety feel like? Try to describe the experience of anxiety and how it is recognized. Typically, there is a sense of tightness in the body, often accompanied by a quickening heartbeat. In the case of my friend, he equated the feeling with a sense of stage fright one might encounter when being asked to give a presentation to a large audience.

Once you become familiar with the experience of anxiety, it's time to explore it. First, we drop the label “anxiety” and remove it from the equation. Then, we direct attention toward the sensations present in the body. By removing the label “anxiety” and examining it experientially, it creates an impartial space for the experience. A good question to ask at this point is, “Is this anxiety, or just the movement of energy?” If it can be clearly seen as the movement of energy and not anxiety, then a new relationship to the sensation begins to form.

In the example of anxiety, I like to use the metaphor of a roller coaster. If you can remember what it's like to be on the uphill climb on a roller coaster, getting closer to the top, you might have experienced a similar energetic movement in the body with tension and a quickening heart rate. Anticipation of the unknown is the root. One could just as easily label this experience as “excitement.” Once you crest the top of the roller coaster and plummet downwards, there is a rush of energy as the anticipation gives way and transforms into exhilaration as you realize you are safe. If there is a sense of trust that you are safe, then surrender gives way to delight. This analogy might not be helpful if you are not a fan of roller coasters but seeing this energetic sensation we call anxiety in a different light can enable us to see that it is similar in nature to excitement. It is a movement of energy, plain and simple. By not giving it a label like “fear” or “anxiety” it does not feed into a story that perpetuates its presence, nor does it create a problem out of the simple movement of energy.

So, when this energy arises, simply asking the question, "Is this anxiety or is this the movement of energy?" can transform our perception of it. In the case of my friend, asking this question caused the sensation to dissipate, but he noticed that it quickly rose again. I brought up the roller coaster metaphor again and indicated that roller coasters usually have multiple peaks and valleys rather than just one, and that asking this question each time it arises may gradually weaken the intensity and frequency of the movement of energy. Simply by seeing it impartially can diminish the energy’s ability to fuel stressful thoughts. He really liked this approach because it was remarkably simple and only involved asking one question.

I invite you to use the same question for whatever types of emotions might be recurring themes in your experience. The investigation can deepen but it's typically helpful to clear a pathway, so to speak, before diving deeper into the roots of suffering. Feel free to let me know how it goes.

In peace,
Trey

Am I in the Body, or is it in Me?

We have been taught since we were old enough to learn that we are the body. But once you’ve had a glimpse of your True Nature as Awareness, that belief begins to get undermined. With subsequent realizations, non-dual moments, awakening experiences, etc., when there is a dis-identification with the body, the belief upon which the whole story of “you” was built begins to weaken. It can be unsettling when the “you” you thought you were begins to appear more like a figment of imagination. I’ve had many experiences of Pure Being, where Trey is seen to just be an experience of Awareness. As a result of those moments of clarity, subtle beliefs are being seen through. Doubt is falling away, leaving a growing acceptance of not being a person. The ripple effect of the implications of that fact are being felt in the form of waves of Joy and Gratitude. The effort it requires to be a separate self has become clear, as has the effortlessness of just Being.

One of the challenges for me has been around the sense of being Awareness housed in the body. I know it’s not true from direct experience, but there is a feeling of closeness to Trey’s body and mind and a sense that he is the focal point of experience. However, just because the body feels "close" to “you” does not make it who you are. I have been inquiring into the sense of being located in the body and would like to share some things that have helped “me” see through this illusion. We start by looking at where our current experience is being experienced from.

Notice where the hands are right now. That's not something you planned out obviously, but there they are. Close the eyes and see if you can feel the hands. Now try to get a sense for where they are located. When you do this, you might notice that you subtly (or even unconsciously) use a reference point in order to pick a location in space to assign the hands too. If you don't have a reference point for location purposes, then the experience of the hands is just there, in space somewhere. Check to see where they feel located in reference to nothing.

Now notice where the feet are. With the eyes closed try to get a sense of where the feet are located. Some reference point might tell you that they are further down below where the hands are. That involves another reference point. But take away the point of reference and notice that the feet are just where they are, in space somewhere.

With the eyes closed pay attention to the feeling of the face. If you can't feel the face, then smile and feel what it feels like to smile. See if you can get a location on the smiling face. Does it feel closer than the hands and feet? If so, that means you are using the body (head more specifically) as a reference point. But without that reference point, isn't the smiling face also just floating in space somewhere?

Now notice the thoughts. If you're not currently thinking any thoughts, then I recommend you think the thoughts, blah, blah, blah. As those thoughts arise, see if you can get a location on them. Where are they located? Do they seem to be higher up then the smiling face? Again, when you remove the reference point of something, aren't thoughts also just appearing somewhere in space?

Now, with your eyes closed, direct attention toward the whole body. Feel the aliveness in all parts of it simultaneously. Where is the body located? If we aren’t using the body as a reference point for locating it, it too appears to be floating in an aware space, with no particular location. Can you sense the body as just one more object being noticed in this aware space that contains everything? This aware space doesn’t have a particular location or reference point. Everything is just in it.

The only thing making something feel closer than another is that we have been taught to use our bodies as a reference point, which is necessary for practical purposes. However, the invitation here is to see what it’s like not to rely on the body as a reference point. Then, what we are noticing through the senses, with no interpretation of close vs. far away, is where it is. The idea of here and there disappears and everything is just here, in an aware space.

Now that there is an experience of space between and around the body/mind, pay attention to the space that all of these thoughts and sensations are floating in. It’s like a bowl of Awareness soup that has different ingredients floating in it (a chunk of meat, a tablespoon of thought and a few dashes of sights and sounds). See if you can get a sense that this Awareness soup feels more like what you are and that the body and thoughts are just floating around in it. Enjoy the yummy soup 😊

Are you the Doer?

Do you think you're the doer of things? If not, then read no further. If so, I invite you to ask a few questions and do some further investigation. First, let’s look at the possible options for what is doing the doing. Is it the mind? Is it the body? Or is it something else? Conventional thinking may lead us to believe that the mind is governing the body, so let’s investigate that first. Begin paying close attention to what the body does without the thinking mind's involvement. Whether it's putting away the dishes or driving a car, notice the thoughts going on during your daily activities. When putting away the dishes the mind does not have to think about how to pick up a dish, where to place it and how to get it from point A to point B. It happens by itself. Oftentimes during these routine tasks, the mind is actually occupied with thinking about the past or the future and is completely disconnected from what the body is doing in the moment.

Some people think they need their mind in order to drive a car, but if you pay attention while driving is happening you will notice that thinking about driving is not really happening. For example, the mind is not thinking thoughts like, "Turn on the left turn signal now." Or “Check the rearview mirror now.” Or "Apply a small amount of pressure to the gas pedal now." Or “Turn the steering wheel a few inches to the left.” All of that happens by itself (fortunately). I think it’s safe to say that if the mind had to formulate thoughts to operate a car, the body wouldn’t be around for long. What you will find upon closer scrutiny is that the mind can either be silent or preoccupied with non-driving related thoughts and driving happens beautifully by itself. Many people have experienced driving to a destination and having no memory of the trip, either because attention was focused on some mental story, or just silently witnessing. I have tested this at great length and can safely say that thinking isn’t needed for driving. In fact, in my experience driving becomes an art form when the mind takes a backseat (no pun intended).

There are countless ways you can investigate whether thought is needed for the body to do what it does. Look at how it gathers up groceries from the car and somehow navigates getting them to where they need to be. Thoughts are not governing which hand should grab which bag, how to adjust the load, how to open and close doors, how to navigate walking, etc., etc. The body is making hundreds of little movements and adjustments each moment, even seemingly planning its next move, without thought telling it what to do.

However, please don’t take my word for it. Look for yourself and notice how thought is not required in order to do most (if not all) of the things the body does. I would also invite you to see if you can find any tasks that the body does during a day that do require thought. If you find one, please let me know. For now, let’s presume that the body does what it does without the need to think about it so we can continue our investigation.

Before we proceed, it’s important to note that there are ways in which thoughts can influence the body. In the example of driving, the mind might say, “I need to get to point B.” And it might even plan out how it's going to get there. But beyond that, it's up to the body to do what it does. In addition to the mind’s intentional attempts to get the body to do something (i.e. drive to point B), the mind unintentionally influences the body in other ways. For example, when stressful thoughts are present, the body often has a physiological response. Tightness or tension in the body often arise when the mind is preoccupied with a stressful story. Our thinking affects the body, but it is not doing the body. It seems more accurate to say that the mind is merely making suggestions to the body that the body either follows or doesn’t. If the body follows the suggestions, the mind feels in control. If the body doesn’t follow the suggestions, the mind may analyze the situation in order to figure out what’s going on. It’s not hard to find examples of how the mind’s attempts to get the body to do something (i.e. exercise, work, taxes, chores, etc.) are often ignored until the body is ready to do them. Despite what the mind says, we don’t know what the body is going to do until it does it. The mind is more like the body’s narrator. As the body does what it does, the mind creates a story around how things are being done. This was actually demonstrated in a scientific experiment that might interest you (see Neuroscience and Free Will - https://vimeo.com/90101368). Spoiler alert… The body knows what it’s going to do about six seconds before the mind does.

Assuming the mind can come to terms with the fact that thought is not required for the body to fulfill its functions, it becomes clear that the body has its own innate intelligence. It does what it does beautifully, with an intuition of what needs to be done. It’s like a highly sophisticated robot that is programmed to survive, seek pleasure and avoid pain. Once this is realized, the mind can finally relax and take a step back from its attempts to control, analyze, second guess, judge, blame, etc.. However, this might require some ongoing experimentation before the mind is convinced enough to fully trust the body to do what it needs to do when it needs to do it. I will say from my experience it is definitely worth investigating.

So, if the body does what it does without the mind’s control, the question arises, “Are you controlling the mind?” Have you ever looked to see where thoughts come from? Do you ever have any clue as to what thought is going to happen next? Are you planning the next thought before it arrives? Or does it just arise out of nowhere? When a thought arises, ask yourself, “Did I choose this thought, or did it just arise?” A skeptical mind (like mine) might think of a way to out smart the system by thinking, “In ten seconds I will think the word, Hello.” Then, count to ten and think the word, Hello. The mind could then say, “See, I can choose my own thoughts.” But where did the thought, “In ten seconds I will…” come from? Was that a premeditated thought, or did it spontaneously arise? If you look you will find that thoughts arise organically and without premeditation. You have no more control over them than you do the body. Thoughts just happen or they don't. Their content and timing are not up to you. Again, look with your own direct experience.

Once you are satisfied that the neither the mind, nor the body, are being controlled by “you”, it’s time to go a little deeper to see what is at the root of all doing. Here are some good questions to sit with. “If the mind and body are just happening on their own, where do “I” fit in?” “Do “I” have any control over anything?” “What is it that's making all of this happen?” “Is there anything here in the body-mind organism that is making anything happen?” “If so, then what is making that work?” “Where does the impulse to do anything arise?” “Where do thoughts arise?” “If I am not the body nor the mind, what exactly am I?” “Is there an “I” at all?” “If so, and it's not the body and it's not the mind, where is it located?” “Does it have a location?”

It's important here not just to read these questions but to look to where they point. The act of looking is the answer. What you will eventually discover [spoiler alert], if you have the desire to know what’s really going on here, is that what you truly are is not the body nor the mind. The mind and body are being done by what you truly are, but that’s not something “you” have any control over, because there is no “you” as a separate, finite self. This animating life force energy (aka Consciousness, Awareness, Presence, Life, God, Nature, Love, etc.) is pulling all the strings and the body-mind is like a puppet. It’s all being done, like a well-choreographed play of divine energy. This realization puts an end to all second guessing and questioning of what has already happened or will ever happen, because it’s clear that everything is being done by a higher intelligence. There’s no more need to judge or blame. When the “you” realizes it’s not the character in the play, the character becomes a portal for joy and lightness that emanates from the same Source that’s animating the Universe.

It’s also important to remember that if there is no “doer” here (where you thought yourself to be), then there is no “doer” there (where you thought others to be). It’s all out of our hands. People cannot help but do what they do, because we are all being done. This realization leads to forgiveness as well as deep compassion and love. There are no separate individuals. Just [insert your word of choice] wearing an infinite number of disguises. Just sit with that for a bit. Or don’t. It’s not up to you whether you do or not, so why not just wait and see what happens next 😊

Symptoms of Peace in a Pandemic

Dear friends and family,

I hope you are all doing well and remaining healthy. I'm feeling called to share something I wrote that came from my work with with inquiry and the pandemic. What helped me could be of use to someone else looking for peace in this very surreal world we inhabit.

In peace,
Trey

Symptoms of Peace in a Pandemic

If you are like most people on the planet Earth right now, then you have most likely been experiencing a lot of fear. There is an undercurrent of fear coursing through the veins of humanity as many of us contemplate planetary doom. After all, there is a virus spreading around the globe leaving death and suffering in its wake. It's perfectly natural to feel anything from unease to full-on panic. The precautionary measures being taken to limit social gatherings and thereby slow the spread of this virus, though helpful and necessary, have contributed to the growing fear many people are experiencing. Fear is not a problem. It's the body's natural response to external circumstances. A biological survival mechanism in the human entity. But it's also an invitation to look deeper and to investigate the purpose and origins of fear.

What is it you are really afraid of? I invite you to sit with that question for a couple of minutes and possibly even make a few notes.

Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of suffering? Are you afraid of someone close to you dying or suffering? What is it that triggers fear? It might be helpful to envision your worst-case scenario for this pandemic. We typically try to avoid thinking about such things but remain governed by the stories that play over and over.

I did this and came up with a scenario of Trey being patient zero in Asheville who contracted the virus from one of his Uber passengers. He had a slight cold before all of the social distancing measures took place and didn’t think much of it. Little did he know he was a carrier of the virus. He then he proceeds to spread it to everyone he encounters. His friends, family and passengers start getting sick and dying while he remains fine. Investigators looking for the common thread in these cases trace the source back to me. My picture is on the news warning people who have had contact with me to get tested. I’m guessing some variation of this scenario is playing in the minds of many right now.

After letting the mind ruminate on fearful stories, I invite you to investigate what fear feels like in the body. Sit quietly with your eyes closed and get in touch with fear. Rather than turn away from it or distract yourself from feeling it, feel it. Experience it. What does it feel like to be afraid? Is there tightness in part of the body? Is there a tingly sensation, vibration or a sense of numbness somewhere? Really look. See what it is to be afraid on a physical level. How the body reacts to fear.

Once you get a feel for it, take away the label of “fear.” Without the word fear to describe the experience, what is it? What is this tightness or nausea or dizziness or whatever feeling you are experiencing, without the word “fear” to hold it all together? It is an energetic experience. A cluster of sensations. Notice that you are aware of these sensations, but the sensations are not who you are. You are not the sensations because you can witness them. If you were these sensations, then you would not be able to notice them because you would be one with them.

Now, ask yourself, “What is it that is aware of the sensations in the body?” Then, direct attention toward the aware space around these sensations. See if you can get a feel for this empty aware space that notices the body's sensations, as well as thoughts. Notice that there is a Stillness, with no objective qualities, that surrounds these sensations and thoughts. What is that?

There's something that we could call a witnessing presence that serves as the backdrop of all experience. That aware presence cannot be seen, heard, or in any way be defined. But it can be experienced. The experience of it could be called Peace. Some teachers refer to this as finding your True Nature. With its discovery, you realize that you are the peaceful backdrop of all experience and not the person who is experiencing it. To know that is to be free.

No matter what happens, what you truly are (Peace, Stillness, Awareness) will be unaffected. What you truly are is what remains eternally present, witnessing as things come and go, in an omnipotent alive energy that holds everything.

Recognizing yourself as this aliveness puts feelings like fear into perspective. It's just an energetic experience in the aware space that contains it all. Our True Nature is unaffected by what happens to the person. The human being, like everything else in existence, is just an experience.

So, what happens to the Trey as patient zero story when seen from this perspective? Well, he becomes more conscious of germ spreading, starts sanitizing more often, goes grocery shopping and begins distancing. But I now see that Trey is a cell in the organism we call the Universe. And that cell will fulfill its purpose. Trey certainly wouldn’t have chosen to be the cell to carry a virus that could inflict harm on other cells. But if that’s what happened, he had no choice but to be that one. Nature, in its infinite wisdom, is running everything. Trey can now experience a sense of Trust, that no matter what happens, all is as it was meant to be. Nature is experiencing an infinite number of cells, each of them fulfilling their purpose for the overall good of the organism.

All cells will die, but Nature never does. Nature is currently using the Trey-cell to invite the you-cell to consider the possibility that you are not the cell, but actually that alive space of Nature that experiences the cell. Nature is encouraging you to go look for your Self and see if you find One? Feel free to report back your findings, if you find anything, or even if you don’t 😊


Rx for impending doom:

Go for a walk in Nature. Spend time smiling at the plants, trees, sky, clouds, etc. Express your gratitude for the opportunity to experience Life in all its richness. Remember that whether it's beautiful forests, sunsets, wars or plagues, Nature is at work. Inhale the breath of Nature. Let it fill your lungs with alive energy. What a gift it is to exist and witness this awe-inspiring Universe unfold.

For the Love of Traffic

[The following words were dictated into my phone while sitting in traffic and later revised while sitting in a café.]

As I was on my way to volunteer at my daughter's school, I ran into a traffic jam on the interstate. Traffic was stop and go. It meant I was going to be late for the field trip and they were going to be left in a challenging situation since I was one of the drivers. I experienced the tension that comes with feeling trapped and unable to make a commitment. Instead of letting those stories take hold and run loose, I surrendered to the situation with a knowing that all of this is out of my control. When a thought arose that was steeped in resistance (i.e. I should have taken that last exit), it dissipated with the recognition that this was where I was meant to be.

Then, out of the blue, I was then given a very pleasant reminder about why I was in the situation I was in. As a car passed me slowly in the other lane, the woman driving waved and said, “I love your bumper stickers!” I smiled and thanked her as she moved on up in the line of traffic. I had forgotten that I just put two new bumper stickers on my car. One says, “Who would you be without your story?” (one of Byron Katie’s gems). The other says, “You are Perfect” (inspired by Benjamin Smythe). It became instantly clear that one of the reasons I was stuck in traffic at that moment was to display those statements to a large number of people, at least one of which resonated with the message and expressed gratitude. Thanks to stop and go traffic, dozens more people in nearby cars were given the opportunity to read those words, whether they resonated with them or not. I was deeply humbled and grateful to be serving Life’s purpose while stuck in traffic. At that point I got a little teary-eyed and said to Life, “Thank you, thank you, I love you.”

At that moment, traffic opened up and I hurried on to school, but I wasn’t stressed about being late and everyone having to wait on me. I knew everything, like always, was as it should be. In the end, we got to go on the field trip and had a nice time.

Later that day, I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic once again. There were some initial thoughts about the potential for being late for my group meeting, but those thoughts quickly gave way and were replaced with a space of acceptance. Then, it occurred to me that the reason I was stuck in traffic again was so that I could finish writing what I started earlier. Here goes...

In my experience, Life will usually show me why I am going through challenging times, if/when I am open to receive the message. It might not happen immediately, but it usually doesn't take long for Life to show me how what is, is for a greater good. However, you don't have to know why things are the way they are in order to find peace in the midst of challenging situations. The answer will either be made known, or become unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Ultimately, the answer to the question, “Why?” is, “Just for the pure sake of having this present experience.” The end goal, if there is one, would be so that we would all recognize that we are not actually the ones in control here and to accept that. To realize that our body/minds are being animated by a force far greater than the human mind, and that force is our True Nature. That realization can be the ultimate outcome of every moment when we fully embrace the isness of everything.

Here is a simple practice that might be helpful as you navigate minor challenges. As I go about my day, sometimes I find myself saying, “So, this is what Life wants for me,” with a smile of acceptance, curiosity and wonder, along with a deep trust that Life is always giving me what I need. Like it or not, this is exactly where you're supposed to be. Always.

Epilogue 

[In reality, the benefits of my character being stuck in traffic twice in one day will continue to reverberate for eternity, like a ripple in a pond started from a raindrop returning from its visit to the sky. The insights that turned into words will take on a life of their own and possibly touch lives in faraway lands. The simple message, which has been spreading like wildfire in recent years, will spark more fires. Some people may even begin to question their view of reality, and possibly even wake up out of the dream of identification with mind and body. That’s why you are reading these words right now, whether you realize it now or later. But I’m not taking credit for these words. They are not mine. This body/mind named Trey just happened to be in the right place at the right time to record them. If they have touched you in a positive way, don’t thank Trey. Thank Awareness, Consciousness, Life, God or whatever word suits your character best.]

You Are The Embodiment of God's Will

FYI - I use the term God synonymously with Consciousness or Awareness.

There is nothing here that is not the will of God.
You are witnessing the will of God play itself out all these various forms.
When you accept that you are the will of God, then God's will becomes your will, and all is well.
All is well because all is God.
There is nothing not God.
We have lost ourselves in the play of God, and forgotten that we are God.
Remember that You Are The Embodiment of God's Will and Allow the Will of God to Move Through You.

What is Spiritual Awakening?

I have been on a “spiritual path” as it is sometimes called, for a dozen years or so. I didn’t choose to be on one. It chose me. When I became what is sometimes called a “seeker” it was not a conscious choice, but something I had to do. I was overcome with the desire to know the ultimate Truth of what we are and why we’re here. The circumstances that led to the birth of the seeker are discussed in another post (LINK) and not relevant to this discussion. Suffice it to say that I received a “wake up call” which could also be called a “call to awaken.” I got the call and I had to answer. At that point, Life began setting things in place that would serve me on this journey. Trey the “Seeker” eventually turned into an “Awakener” (the way I use the terms, a Seeker is one who is looking for fulfillment through a number of spiritual outlets or techniques, while an Awakener has had a glimpse(s) of the Truth and has a more narrowed focus on waking up).

A recent conversation prompted me to answer the question, “What does spiritual awakening mean to you?” In a nutshell, this person I call Trey is not who I really am. What I truly am, is Awareness (aka Consciousness). Some people have heard variations of this sentiment hundreds of times from a wide variety of sages and teachers from around the world. To those who have not heard it before, it may sound rather silly. But the realization that one is actually just Awareness and not a person is what Awakening is all about. Self-realization (aka enlightenment) is the recognition of one’s self as Awareness.

“Why would a person want to realize such a thing?” one might ask. Well, the answer lies in how Life is experienced from the perspective of Awareness. When one stops identifying themselves as a person and begins to identify as Awareness, the limiting beliefs about the individual (and others) fall away, leaving the unclouded essential nature of this moment. From what I’ve seen in spending time with awakened people, the awakened character is loving, compassionate, accepting, non-judgmental, supportive, kind, authentic, empathetic, courageous, and unaffected by negativity. Though it may seem odd on the surface, when we no longer feel identified with the character we’re playing, we become beacons of light and love in the world.

About My Character’s Path

Trey’s path has been one of presence, acceptance and surrender. Some of my greatest early influences were Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie. Despite resonating deeply with their teachings, I did not blindly adopt that path overnight. It feels as though I (the character) has been in a gradual trust building exercise with Life. I read the works of teachers then applied them to different areas of my life. The outcome was one of reassurance time and time again. I have gone through a number of challenging circumstances, and when applied correctly, this path of accepting all that comes transformed challenges into gifts. I started seeing the silver lining in all the clouds. In fact, challenging situations turned into opportunities to awaken more deeply.

A couple of years ago, Self-inquiry came alive in me. Self-inquiry is simply the act of becoming aware of Awareness. Ramana Maharshi, considered by most to be father of Self-inquiry, told his students to ask, “Who am I?” and then direct attention toward the source to which that question points (Rupert Spira does a great job of explaining it in this short video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG9WuSk5gTI).  This seemingly simple practice led numerous people to wake up, and many of those who woke up became teachers and began spreading the same Truth they found. Though each teacher has their own personal style, what they are saying is ultimately the same thing: We are all Awareness.

As I practiced Self-inquiry, or redirecting Awareness toward Awareness, it led to the ability to rest in Awareness for short periods, which often times is accompanied by blissful states and feelings of oneness. However, it can also bring up a number of challenging issues that need to be acknowledged. Some say “spiritual bypassing” occurs when someone uses a spiritual path to avoid dealing with negativity, but that’s just like hitting the snooze button on an alarm clock. Whatever it is that needs to be addressed will arise again until it is effectively met. For me, acceptance and surrender have been the tools used to deal with all that arises. Through this process, Life has become my teacher and I trust it completely to show me what I need to see.

As an aside, Ramana has said that the only two paths to Self-realization are Self-inquiry and surrender, and that all other paths eventually lead to one of those two entry points. Self-inquiry is considered the direct path. The complete surrender Ramana spoke about is not easy for most people. The people capable of total surrender are often those who have hit rock bottom and have lost the will to live (as was the case with Eckhart and Katie). One could say that complete surrender, as described by Ramana, leads to awakening, and situational surrender (more like I have been practicing) leads to being at peace with the situation at hand.

In the group sessions I’ve been facilitating for many years now, I see a lot of is people who have learned these various practices and techniques and have used them to lead a more peaceful life. Most of them have had a glimpse of the truth to which spiritual teachers point, which fuels their quest for enlightenment. It can also lead to the creation of what some call the “spiritual ego,” which is the belief that they are a person who is connected to Awareness, rather than just Awareness. I have seen this in myself and others, and it can be a confusing period where we continue to act out our egoic conditioning in our personal relationships while being able to experience blissful states in other areas of our lives. In short, the awakening process is not complete. So what to do?

There’s an old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I have seen that proved true many times in my life. The most recent example was a few months ago, when Dan Kelso appeared with what he calls Deep Self Investigation (DSI). After talking with Dan at great length, it became clear that DSI is the antidote for those of us still identified with the character, despite having numerous awakening experiencing confirming that we are in fact Awareness.

DSI is a more fine-tuned version of Self-inquiry designed to root out all of the beliefs we have to support identification with the character. I sometimes call it Self-inquiry 2.0 because it goes deeper than just becoming aware of Awareness. One can merge with Awareness in doing Self-inquiry, but still be identified as the character who is merging with Awareness. When DSI is used, more focused attention is directed toward those beliefs that make us feel limited in any way. We question those beliefs, relying only on our direct experience to verify the answers (not what we have learned or been told by others).

I have had some profound realizations in working with Dan and DSI. In the last session I realized what I have heard numerous teachers say on countless occasions – You are already awake, you just don’t realize it yet. Yes, we have always been aware throughout every moment of our lives. Whether the character was (is) experiencing sorrow or bliss, Awareness was (is) present and noticing. Awareness is always just aware. And I am Awareness. In effect, Awareness has never been lost in identification with Trey, it has just been seeing Trey and Trey has been believing that Trey is only awake during certain states of expansiveness. This is an example of how beliefs about spiritual awakening mask the ever-present Awareness that we already are, and always have been. One must be willing to surrender ALL beliefs, whether they have to do with spiritual awakening or being a person, in order to see what we truly are.

In gratitude,

Trey

* Belief – I like to think that the inventors of the English language deliberately inserted the word “lie” in the middle of the word belief so that we would remember that beliefs are not true. Whether that’s true or not, it has been made clear to me that there are no such things as true beliefs. How do we know if what we think is a belief or fact? According to one teacher I sat with, if anyone on the planet would disagree with the thought, it’s a belief. There is nothing wrong with beliefs. We use them to navigate in this world. However, what we believe shapes how we see the world, so it’s important to question them to make sure they are in fact true in order to ensure we are living in alignment with what is. The Work of Byron Katie is all about questioning beliefs and has helped tens of thousands of people see how their thoughts limit their experience of life - https://thework.com.

Note about Dan Kelso:

One of the great things about Dan is that he is wide awake and is a shining example of what Awakened Living looks like. He radiates happiness, compassion and love, all while being an ordinary, down-to-earth guy who doesn’t want to be looked up to as a teacher. Instead he is just a good friend suggesting that one look deeper. One of the things he likes to point out is that we already are Awareness. We are already the fully awakened consciousness we’re seeking. He just wants to help people see it for themselves, which is where DSI comes in. Each DSI session I have with Dan brings more insight and less identification with the character. You can find out more about DSI at http://deepselfinvestigation.com/about.

No Mistakes

Have you ever made what you thought was a bad decision? If you think so, then you've probably experienced the frustration of things not working out the way you had hoped they would. However, I would like for you to ponder this: What if there is no such thing as a bad decision? What if there are only decisions? What if it’s impossible to make a mistake in this life? What would happen to this frustration if you dropped the belief that mistakes are possible? Is the idea that things could or should be different than they are actually at the root of frustration?

Each and every move we take has a different set of possible outcomes. We do our best to make the “right” move, but when we decide outcomes are “bad” then we look at what led to them as a mistake, either on our part or the part of others. We will then either seek to blame ourselves or others for unpleasant circumstances. However, from my experience, every apparent “bad” situation always has positive repercussions. It may take a little while for the benefits to be shown, but I can always find several positive outcomes that were brought about by a seemingly negative situation.

This may seem like a “rose colored glasses” approach to viewing life, but I have been in a number of seemingly hopeless situations, and I have seen how life always works out in my favor despite what may seem hopeless. Having been tested over and over again with challenging situations, I have learned to see every circumstance as an opportunity for growth. The gift of stressful situations is in the opportunity to go beyond our beliefs about what should or shouldn’t be. If we operate from the perspective that mistakes are not actually possible, then it frees us to act from a place of fearlessness and integrity, knowing that the outcome will be for our benefit, even if it seems challenging at first. It also alleviates the burden of thinking we know what’s best for us and reduces our attachment to certain outcomes.

When I find myself in a situation where something I did or said seemed to cause someone else distress, I own my role in that and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. It’s important to know that their distress is not ultimately caused by us but by their own beliefs on how things should be. But it’s also important not to dismiss the feelings of others, and instead look for the truth in any accusations or blame that comes our way. We gain insights into ourselves and others when we can welcome their criticisms instead of defending against them. The key is not to get caught in judging ourselves negatively because someone else blames us for their frustration. Instead, we can recognize that we did the best we could do, and we did it perfectly. A friend of mine once told me, “You can’t do it wrong, you can only do it Trey.” You could also say that the only mistake is the belief that mistakes are possible.

When we cease to believe in mistakes, challenges can be welcomed as part of what’s necessary for our personal growth, and things can be seen as unfolding in our favor. When the burden of self-doubt and the fear of doing something “wrong” is lifted, each moment is perfectly fine no matter what happens. The past and present are accepted as part of what could not have been avoided, and the present is experienced as one welcome occurrence after another. We can then realize that we are always living in a happy ending that never ends.

I invite you to see what it’s like to release the idea that you, or someone else, could make a mistake. See what happens when you stop labeling things as good and bad. Things always are as they are and nothing anyone can do will change that. Only one thing can be changed and that’s how you see things. Could it be that our happiness is a belief away?

Mother Nature

Dear friends and family,

I hope your 2018 is off to a good start and that you have enjoyed (and survived) the holidays :) I've been feeling a lot of gratitude recently due to the single digit temperatures we are currently experiencing. I'm so grateful for electricity and central heat. I feel so warm in my house that I just feel blessed, as well as deep compassion for those who are not as warm and comfortable. I'm also in awe of those who lived through tough winters long before the modern conveniences of home life. I can only imagine the effort it took, heating with wood in drafty log homes with no running water or electricity. I'm warm, comfortable and grateful, and I hope where ever you are you are as well :) This leads me to my latest blog post on Mother Nature. I hope you enjoy.

Happy new year!


Almost all of the things you see and touch everyday come up out of our magical Earth. In fact, I can’t think of anything that did not originate in this planet.  Humans have developed this uncanny ability to extract things from the ground and create an unimaginable array of objects. We have learned through modern technology how to take minerals from the dirt and manufacture wonderous things, even generate electricity. I find myself thinking about this sort of thing regularly and it has built up a sense of awe and appreciation for even the most mundane things. I look around and I see the miraculous existence of all things and recognize that everything is brought to us by Nature, then feel the gratitude for its gifts. This is why I would like to invite you to spend a little time and attention contemplating the sacredness of all things.

First, think about how much metal goes into making cars. How many thousands of pounds make up a car or truck? Think about how many cars there are on the highway near you on any given day. There are thousands of cars traveling down the interstate near me on a daily basis, and I live in a relatively small town (i.e. a speck of dust in a planet full of small towns and major cities). So how many cars are there in the world? If you Google that you’ll see that there are well over a billion. Now, think about how they were all made of metal that has been mined from the Earth, then melted, molded and put together in intricate ways. Not just metal, but also the fossil fuels that go into making plastic and rubber, and the minerals that go into making the glass. The natural resources that go into making a car is mind boggling, much less a billion of them.

Pick anything at random and consider where it came from and just how much was needed to make it. For example, think about how many trees it takes to build a house, or an apartment building. How much sand is needed to build a single bridge or make a house full of windows? What about the fabric in your clothes and furniture? Your dishes, your furnishings, your toiletries, your computer, your book, your phone. It all originates in this beautiful Earth and is mass produced by its brilliant inhabitants. I invite you to look around at something, anything, and recognize it as a gift from our planet, brought to you by the ingenuity of human beings just like you.

I just want to say, “Thank you, Mother Earth.” You are like the giving tree, always allowing us to enjoy your living breathing body 😊 And to my fellow planet-mates, thank you for being a crucial part of what makes society work as well as it does.

Much love,

Trey

Group Discussion (September 18, 2017)

Dear Awakeners,

I've heard from a number of you that you would love to attend the group meetings and can't due to busy schedules, etc. I decided that it might be helpful for me to pass along the things we discuss in the group meetings because people tend to leave the meetings feeling rejuvenated, and dare I say more awake. Everyone in the room is a teacher, and we each contribute to the global awakening just by being present. So here's a brief recap. If you would like to chime in, add your two cents, or provide feedback, you can either email me directly, or post your comment to my blog (I will post this at http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com). 

We had a good talk about acceptance of every aspect of ourselves and our experience (thoughts, emotions, etc.), and I felt like we really deepened our overall acceptance of others and the external world. I have been reading Jeff Foster's new book "The Way of Rest: Finding the Courage to Hold Everything in Love," which has helped me become more accepting of my own "stuff." 

I shared my realization that we are all completely innocent in everything we do, that we are conditioned against our will from the time we are born to think and behave in certain ways. We don't have a choice in how we are raised, what we are taught, and don't have any option to do anything but what we do, until we realize that we do have a choice. This realization has given me the ability to forgive anyone for everything. My forgiveness of the conditioned behavior of others is not a "get out of jail free card" for them. They will suffer the consequences of their actions whether I forgive them or not. But it frees me from the bondage of negativity. Forgiving others is for me and has nothing to do with them.

We talked about the political environment and being able to take action from a place of acceptance and forgiveness. I shared a few opinions about Trump, like he's not a very nice person, I don't think he is a very good president, etc., which are relatively tame compared to the majority of Americans. However, I can hold those opinions with the knowing that he is meant to be the president (for now), and that much good will (has) come from his time as president (just as much good comes out of every disaster). Now I can enjoy the show knowing that my opinions are only stories I've created through my own conditioning and don't really encapsulate the truth. I can see how the conditioning of others is innocently playing out with no one the wiser. Nobody's right and nobody's wrong. I can also see how this political climate is leading more people to question their reality, and that is one of the most important things that is happening as a result of the current situation. For example, one of the members said that she had no idea how much racism there still is in this country. While it is very disturbing to know, it is very good that this has been brought to light so that healing can begin.

We noticed some of our own judgments and started to see first hand how they were shaped by our upbringing. Our opinions and world views are formed by our conditioning. We talked about how the ideas of good and bad were at the core of conflict and that things just ARE the way they are. They aren't good or bad until a conditioned mind puts a label on it and creates division and suffering, something less than perfect. We looked at how we can shape our reality with a simple shift in perspective and an open mind.

We also talked a little bit about the fear in the air surrounding potential nuclear war, etc. This fear is of an unknowable future. The mind takes on a story of doom and gloom and the story becomes real for us. But that impending doom loses its impact when death is seen as an illusion.

Anyway, that's about it in a nutshell. If you were at the group and want to add something I missed, please email me or post a comment to the blog (http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com/).

Our next meeting will be in two weeks, Monday, October 2, 6:30 to 8:30 pm. I will send out a reminder as we get closer. I hope to see you all there.

In gratitude,

Trey

For or Against

Our family attended the women's rights march in Asheville recently. There were thousands of people from all walks of life there, and it was moving to see so many standing together for a common cause(s). As I stood there reading all of the signs, the idea occurred to me to write about being "for" something or "against" something. I'm for all of the rights these people were marching for, but I'm not against the establishment that poses a threat to those. If you are against another group of people, you become like those who are against your group. You now have something in common -- you're both "againsters." It's quite possible to be for something and take action to support what you're for, without being against anything. You can fight negativity with negativity, but it's a never ending battle without winners, only victims.

There's the old saying, "What you resist persists." It may sound quaint, but it’s true. These things that bother us continue to nag at us until they are dealt with, not just externally but internally. What’s bothering you isn’t out there. It’s what’s in you. You’re projecting it out on the world. In that way, you shape the world you live in. If you want to shape it into a better place, then you need to find that better place inside you. You already have it, but it’s hidden under layers of judgment and conditioning. Those are the only obstacles to peace. Without those, peace can come through you into the world and shape it in ways you can never imagine. To be the peace that you already are, be at peace with what’s going on around you. That won’t change until you do.

I love you,

Trey

Fear of the Future

Fear seems rampant around the world right now. For some it has to do with the impending rule of the new President of the United States. We have heard a great deal about how wrong things could go under Trump, and a lot of it’s easily believable based on the past. However, this is a prime example of how we create fear in our lives -- We imagine a future. We like predictability and are programmed to use our memory to project a future to help put us at ease (or freak us out). Let’s face it, the future we envision today is not likely to be the reality of the moment when it becomes now. Consequently, when you’re living in fear, you’re believing in an unlikely (more like impossible) future. Seems like a waste of energy, doesn’t it?

Ponder this: What if none of the ideas we have about the future will ever be true? What if we are always going to be wrong? What if no matter how much we think and analyze things, we can’t possibly be right? Ever? Would that be scary? Or would you simply stop trying to know the future? If so, a great deal of our incessant mental noise and worry could finally go away, leaving us more time to focus on what’s real, now.

What’s that you say? “How can we be prepared for what the future may hold if we don’t think about what might happen?” I can see the mind justifying its need to predict and analyze. “I’m here to protect you from bad things,” it says. “Without me, you would be lost.” But is that really true? We can only guess what would have happened in the past if we hadn’t relied on the mind’s attempts to know the future. So we can only guess what might happen in the future if we don’t rely on our mind. Can we open our minds to see what good may come? A lack of trust in the unknown keeps us stuck worrying about a non-existent future. As Eckhart Tolle says, “You can never cope with the future. But you can always cope with the Now.”

What’s the worst that could happen if we threw ideas of the future out the window? When you start to answer that question with the mind, you have re-entered an imaginary future world. Let’s pick one negative thing that seems likely to happen with Trump as President. Take your belief in that possible future, and embrace it, then let it go for a moment. See what it feels like to drop that belief. For me, a space of lightness opens up that was previously concealed by worry. A sense of trust and confidence emerge. This trust does not make us vulnerable. It makes us invincible! Don’t let your mind trick you into believing otherwise. Your thoughts are well meaning. They attempt to protect us from uncertainty, but since everything about the future is uncertain, we get stuck in protective mode. Can you accept uncertainty in your life? Can you hold the knowing that you can handle anything life throws at you, whether you saw it coming or not?

The key to peace isn’t knowing what the future holds, it’s knowing what the present moment holds. When you know this moment fully, you become one with the organic flow of Life. Allow it to carry on the way it does. It will happen however it wants to happen, regardless of your best efforts. Take the effortless way to freedom. Stop believing the hype. Speculation is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and frustration and worry are painful emotions. So, stop hurting yourself! No future = No fear. Living fearlessly is how real positive change comes about in this world. Be the peace you want to see and see what happens.

Trey's Interview with Jeannie Zandi

I had the great pleasure of interviewing Jeannie Zandi recently (www.jeanniezandi.com). She is a great spiritual teacher that I first met back in 2007. In fact, she was the first teacher I had the opportunity to sit with in satsang (I basically lost my satsang virginity to her ;). It was a very powerful and transformative experience which I wrote about in my post “Tears of Joy” (http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com/2007/12/tears-of-joy.html).

Jeannie emanates heartfelt compassion and love, which she brings to the interview I did with her. It was actually like the two of us sitting together in satsang, rather than an interview. Instead of asking her a bunch of questions, I put forth some issues I have been grappling with recently (feelings of being overwhelmed, inadequate, etc.), and she dove in so we could explore those together. My guess is that many people could benefit from listening to our talk.

InJoy,

Trey

PS - Due to video glitches I have posted the audio version of our interview here.

Interview with Jeannie Zandi

Divided We Fall

I divorced myself from politics back in 2004 after suffering a grand mal seizure. It happened right after I learned that John Kerry had conceded the election to George Bush, before all of the votes had been counted. I wasn’t a Kerry supporter at the time, but I was a Bush hater. When I went to tell my wife the upsetting news, I fell down and had a seizure. I woke up in the ambulance on the way to the ER. I was later diagnosed with epilepsy, but it was a wake up call that changed my life forever. And I am thankful for it because it’s what started my search for the purpose of Life. I later found it and am continuing to see the purpose unfold all around. I know it’s all necessary. I know everything is a prerequisite for the discovery of purpose. It has to be this way. So what do you do if you don’t like it this way and it can be no other way? That’s how it started for me.


Having said that, I am also among the majority of Americans who are surprised and disappointed in the recent Presidential election. I, like many, didn’t think Donald Trump had a chance. Afterall, he’s a bully with a negative attitude toward a lot of people. He’s very judgmental and prone to make irrational decisions. There, I said it. I cast my first stone. It’s time for me to do The Work :)


I digress, however. The outcome has illustrated just how divided we are as a nation. There are a lot of people celebrating the victory in the form of hate speech toward minorities. I am surprised that roughly half of those who voted are okay with someone like Trump behind the wheel. But, my disappointment transitioned into peace with forgiveness. This is not a forgiveness that comes from a place of superiority, as in those people are wrong and I forgive them. Instead it’s identifying with them. Once you forgive, you can begin to relate to others as human beings again.


As an example, I ended up in the voting booth right next to my previous neighbors. It’s a long story that ended with us moving to get away from them. I know they are blue collar republicans and I thought about why they were voting the way they were.After all, my political mind thinks that poor people are voting against their best interest by towing the party line. Anyway, it dawned on me that it’s because they have no choice. They were exposed to certain things in their past that shaped their way of thinking. The same is true of me. Beliefs are handed down from generation to generation, like folklore. I then felt a sense of compassion toward them as I filled out my ballot. I can only be this way and they can only be that way. We didn’t get to choose--until we realize we have a choice.


The chaos that has transpired since the election has all been part of the unconscious belief that I’m right. How could we think otherwise?  But it has put a magnifying glass on the divisiveness we have within and without. Even though I don’t believe Trump would make a good President, I think he will make a necessary one. From my perspective, he represents part of the acceleration of human unconsciousness. There is a wave of consciousness rolling through this world, and it has a lot of people concerned. Word is spreading like the fires we’ve seen here in the mountains. The word is, “Yes, you can encounter peace in a world gone mad. Yes, you have the power to bring good into this world, even when it seems to be falling apart. You can rid yourself of compulsive thinking and negativity. You can accept what is.” It usually takes something traumatic to get you to look for what’s true. This election will be the trauma that many people need in order to start focusing on the only thing that can be changed--your perspective. You change that and you change the world. You change that and you become the world.


Keep the peace, inside and out. Take time to stop and just be present. Follow your breath as you enjoy the air around you. Look at the sky. Pay attention to your sense of Being. All of the negativity is just mind stuff that covers up the truth of who we are. It’s time to wake up now. I invite you to please make waking up your prime focus this coming year. Learn to make peace with the present moment, even if it contains apparent adversity. You can do anything when you do it from the space of peace.


InJoy,

Trey

Divided We Fall part 2

The thing I love about making an opinion public is the critical responses. I need those to remind we where I'm stuck in ego (or just pretending to be). I pay attention when the feelings of defensiveness arise and start looking at the truth -- it's all just a story and no two people have the same one. Diversity is what makes life so rich, but it's important not to forget that diversity is ultimately an illusion of mind. I received the following comment in response to this blog post:

"​I see Donald Trump the total opposite of you.  Much of what you are reading is fake news in what is considered mainstream media.  Most of the hate crimes reported were hoaxes and many were perpetrated by leftist trying to besmirch the reputation of others.

I see so much light around Trump.  He is a blessing. Most liberals I know project all of their negative traits onto others....they lack self awareness.  Such vast generalizations you are making and such a condescending attitude.  Keep an open mind....it does wonders."

Here was my response:

Our opinions are shaped by the information we receive. I probably have only been exposed to one side of Trump. But when I heard him say that he wanted to hit another politician for saying bad things about him, I became concerned about someone with that attitude running the country. I was a bit surprised at the number of women who forgave his sexual misgivings (for lack of a better word).

It doesn't matter to me who's running the country. I have full trust in the Universe to do what's best. The end goal is to see light around everyone, not just Trump. He's my teacher. Teaching me how to be open to a so-called opposition. If I were to sit down and really do The Work, I would quickly see how he is just a projection of my own mind (but what fun would that be? ;).

I had to share my opinions in my post, despite the fact that I know opinions are at the root of separation, to illustrate how I overcame them. My comments allowed me to identify with the people I'm surrounded by and allow them to see the problems with holding onto their opinions too tightly.

I understand why so many people voted for him. They are tired of seeing politicians, especially career politicians, running things, and they think that someone who is more business minded would do a better job. Hilary was an unpopular option for a lot of people. I was really pulling for Bernie, but it really doesn't matter who's in office. They aren't really running the show. They are just part of it.

Much love,

Trey

My New Job

A change in my employment status led me to a job that I never really thought of. How I got there is a long, and somewhat messy tale with its own set of life lessons that I may talk in more depth about at a later date. For now, the life lessons are bountiful from my current situation.

I am working as a brand ambassador/event specialist for Advantage Solutions*, which is a national marketing company that partners with Walmart stores to promote certain products in their stores. My job is to go into Walmart stores in the area and set up tasting events. So far I have served up samples of all sorts of things (i.e. yogurt, crackers, ice cream, pasta salad, fruit, sausage, cheese, wine, beer, etc.) It has been immensely enlightening, and I have just been itching to share ;)

When I first applied for the job a few months ago, the job description wasn’t very clear. After I was given the job, I realized I would be giving out samples in Walmart stores. It didn’t sound very appealing at that point, but we needed the money and it was a sure thing. Getting a “real job” opened up some underlying feelings of insecurity. I have been my own boss for most of my adult life and haven’t had to punch a clock since I was in college. It was very exciting!

The job also brought up all of those negative judgments I have had toward Walmart for ages. I never really shop there. In fact, I spent more time in Walmart on my first day of the job than in my whole life. There I was, working as an apparent employee of Walmart. At first I became aware of feelings of failure governed by a mental story and fear of judgment. What would “they” think of me? “Successful Small Business Owner Resorts to Working at Walmart,” would be the ego’s headline :)

Fortunately, I was aware of these stories playing out and could watch them without buying into them. I was able to welcome those negative judgments head on. I became open to the situation, viewing it without a negative overlay. Without some level of awareness, I can see how that story could easily spin someone into a state of depression. But the more I accepted my moment to moment situation, the more at ease I felt. Therein lies liberation -- Accepting without judgments.

It helps a great deal that I have a half hour drive to work. Driving is something that allows me to become more fully present. I also get to listen to Eckhart Tolle audio, which never gets old. In fact, they just get newer. I’m listening to the same audiobooks over and over again (Stillness Speaks and Practicing the Power of Now) and I just get clearer and clearer. His words have been instrumental in helping me adjust to this new life situation.

Basically, this job took me way out of my comfort zone. I’ve been an introvert since I was a kid. I don’t consider myself shy, as such, but I have never been very outgoing. This job requires me to be outgoing, which has been wonderful in so many ways. First, I learned that stepping out of my comfort zone, actually gives my feet a work out. I haven’t really needed to be on my feet for 6 hours a day before, so my feet hurt quite a bit when I first started the job. However, I noticed something interesting once I started paying conscious attention to my feet. When I engaged with people, such asking them if they would like a sample, the muscles in different parts of my feet got tight. I don’t know much about it, but I know reflexology works with different parts of the foot that connect with other bodily symptoms. What I determined was that the flight or flight instinct, typically brought about by fearful situations, was triggered on a subtle level when I struck up conversation with other people. To me this was a clear example of how the residue of fear was manifesting in a physical way so that it could be recognized and released. Had it not been for foot pain, I may not have recognized that fear was there, running silently in the background. (I did get some padded insoles, by the way, which helped quite a bit).

One of the other great things about my job is that I get to people watch all day. Walmart is such a melting pot of people. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, nationalities and personalities. I have seen a number of people with various forms of mental and physical disabilities, which I don’t normally see in my daily life (I lead a sheltered life). There seems to be so much acceptance of people, especially from some of the Walmart greeters. The Walmart greeter at one store seems to know most of the customers. She hugs most of the people with disabilities that come through the door, and likes to kiss every baby on the head (not sure how some of the Moms feel about it though).

It’s been a real eye opener to watch people like this, but it’s been more eye opening to watch myself. I get to notice my own judgments about others as they surface. Notice, accept and release seems to be the practice, and it has become second nature. It’s easy for the mind to spin stories about people based on how they look, what they buy and how they act, but it’s easier (and better) not to. When we stop looking at others judgmentally, they automatically become better people because we are the ones who made them look less than perfect in the first place.

As life continues to give me the experiences I need to wake up to what’s true vs. what’s just a story built on judgments, I am able to relax more. Now I am actually enjoying reaching out to people and greeting them. I’m inviting them with a smile to sample whatever I have in front of me. The ones who aren’t interested almost always smile and say, “No thank you.” It’s amazing! Regardless of who it is (punks, thugs, hippies, yuppies, rastas, rednecks, old folks, kids, even New Yorkers), they all have such good manners. (BTW those terms are not meant to be derogatory in any way. They are terms those people would probably ascribe themselves.) The interesting thing is, 99% of them smile when they say no. It’s like we were all raised with such good manners that it’s an automatic response. I see parents passing on good manners to their children after they have a sample, encouraging them to say thank you. Even people who are very serious looking, with a scowl on their face, pause long enough to say, “No thank you.” It’s like I can get a smile out of almost everybody by a simple gesture :)

So now, I realize that my new job is to make people smile. Now I’m not shy about asking anyone to try a sample because it’s fun to make people smile, and I’m getting paid to do it. Smile and the whole world smiles with you :)

InJoy,

Trey

PS

If you’re interested, the company I’m working for is hiring. Email me if you want to learn more - treycarland@gmail.com

Essay on Science and Spirituality

I hope you are doing well and enjoying the Summer. The moon is looking beautifully full (almost) and the katydids are loving life by the sounds of it. I love this time of year and especially the warm Summer nights. 

Anyway, it's been a while since I sent out an email update. I've been very busy and going through a very challenging and transitional period in my life lately. I have been working two jobs, and ended up in a situation that puts me well outside of my comfort zone. As a result, I have a lot of insights to share. I just haven't had a chance to write them up yet.

However, I did have the opportunity to write the following essay. Since there was a cash prize involved it gave me some added incentive to let some ideas fly. It was nice to get some gratitude expressed in writing after a bit of a dry spell. It was challenging to keep it short enough to meet their guidelines. I could have written much more on the subject, and may well elaborate some day. But I felt like it was something worth sharing in its current form. 

I did not get selected for the prize, which is fine with me. I enjoyed the exercise. I think they were actually aiming more for the link with "religion" instead of "spirituality" so my essay didn't quite fit what they were looking for. Anyway, here is the submission, complete with biographical stuff.

In-Joy,

Trey

- Please submit a brief letter explaining your interests in using narrative nonfiction to explore harmonies between science and religion (1750 character maximum - approximately 350 words).

LETTER OF INTEREST

After I was diagnosed with epilepsy in 2004, at age 30, I was catapulted head first into a search for truth and meaning. It was as if I had no choice but to find the answers to all of life’s big questions. I started reading books about different religions, mysticism, metaphysics, shamanism, as well as various types of energetic healing modalities. I didn’t stop there, however. I was simultaneously reading books on various fields of science, such as neuroscience, biology, cosmology, kinesiology, physics, psychology and anthropology - just to name a few. I was reading at least 10 books at any given time, and read more books during a two year period than I had read in my entire life. I was looking to see where spirituality and science intersected. My analytical mind had been challenged by a deeply spiritual experience brought about by seizures. My search eventually led me to the idea of enlightenment and I felt like I had finally found what I was looking for. The experiences I had encountered, which were later labeled partial complex seizures, were very much like spiritual awakenings that I was reading about. I narrowed my focus at that point and began reading books and studying with many of the well known teachers in non-duality. Around this time I began writing about my realizations and started sharing my discoveries with the world through my blog and an email list I had of my friends, family and acquaintances. My blogs eventually became a book in late 2012, entitled “A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self.” It was actually like the book wrote itself through me and for me, though everyone who has read it has enjoyed it as much as me. I have continued to write and feel as though it is my calling. These discoveries have to be shared with the world and I am happy to be a conduit for that to happen.


STORY SYNOPSIS

- Please submit a synopsis of the story you would like to develop and tell why you think it is an important story to write, especially for general audiences (2500 character maximum - approximately 500 words).

Wherever you look you see nature and science. For example, if you are driving down the road and you look around, what do you see? Cars, signs, power poles, electrical lines, lights, buildings, bridges, glass, asphalt, guard rails, etc. What do all of these things have in common? All of them come from the Earth and all of them took science to create. We are mining metals of all types to make car parts, steel beams, wires and more. We are converting rocks and sand into structures that could not have existed a few hundred years ago. We are able to turn fossil fuels into a wide variety of plastics, as well as create energy. All of this required scientific exploration to achieve. Wise men and women spent their lives figuring out new ways to manifest things using the natural resources we have been given. The main goal has primarily been to make life better for people.

I’m always amazed at what hard work and modern engineering can accomplish. All you have to do is look around with a sense of curiosity to discover things that took years to become possible. Look at a piece of fabric. Creating that used to take countless hours by hand and is now mass produced from a plant grown by farmers. Imagine how much cotton it takes to make all of the blankets sold at your local retailer, then consider how many retailers there are just like that in your town, your state, this country, the world.

Look at a new bridge being built. Imagine how much concrete and steel it takes to create that structure. Imagine how many tons of metal has to be extracted from the ground and melted in order to form those beams. Let’s not forget how much science goes into forming just the right size, shape and consistency to determine the right amount of support needed for any given application. Consider the ingenuity involved to precisely position an enormous structure and the hundreds of manhours needed to create just one bridge abutment. I could go on and on about the various ways in which science has improved our daily lives and how we overlook it, but I must leave some space for where spirituality fits in.

Science is represented in the world of manifestation, while spirituality is found in the unmanifested realm. Before thought is born, there is only the sense of “I am.” Without thought there is only presence. Consciousness itself. That space of conscious awareness is what we truly are. We are not our names, we are not our stories, we are not what we have been told all of our lives. We are the awareness that allows us to enjoy this world of form. Our purpose is to recognize our true nature, and that recognition makes it possible to truly appreciate what we have been given.


BIOGRAPHY

- Please submit a short biographical sketch (1500 character maximum - approximately 300 words).

I was born in Asheville, NC, the son of two academic-minded business professors. Creativity was encouraged, but I was taught that higher education and analytical thinking is what would lead to success in life. I followed suit and earned three master’s degrees in the field of business. Eventually my interest in business was replaced by an interest in spirituality, thanks to my diagnosis with epilepsy in 2004. It was a life shaking event (no pun intended), but one that had a profoundly positive effect on my life. It made me realize that what’s truly important transcends what the analytical mind has to offer. I came to understand that Self-realization is what leads to the sense of peace that makes all thing possible.

I continued to have occasional seizures, both partial and grand mal, for about four years, but they deepened my curiosity in the unknown. My exploration of the unknown led to me become a writer. After a few years of blogging about spirituality, I wrote a book on the subject I had become so passionate about - A Seeker’s Guide to Inner Peace. Since the publication of that book I have continued to write and deepen my experiential understanding of Life. I now host regular satsangs (truth gatherings) and have created an online community devoted to non-duality - Asheville Sangha. I am now focused on the integration of these teachings into the often times stressful life most of us lead.

My wife and I currently live on the outskirts of Asheville in Candler, NC, with our four year old daughter.

Where is This Thing Going?

Like most people, I find myself caught in repetitive thinking from time to time. It’s usually about something that I need to do in the future, and can be rather bothersome. For example, when I’m laying in bed thinking about something I think I need to do in the future. Obviously there are times when you may need to think ahead or plan, but we tend to get stuck in overthinking things that are really of no importance in the grand scheme of things. It may be helpful to ask yourself, “Can anything be done about this situation now?” If not, why waste time thinking about it?

In my experience very little thinking is actually necessary to make things happen. We do things all day long without thinking about them. But we have a tendency to dwell on certain things instead of just doing them or letting them go. So, let’s explore what happens when we stop thinking about doing things and let things happen.

The next time you have time where you don’t need to be anywhere in particular, just stand in the middle of the room and wait to see what happens. Whatever the body decides to do, go with it. Let the mind follow instead of lead. It may be that you just stand there waiting for something to happen for a few minutes, but eventually there will be movement. It may begin by just turning your head to look at something. As you observe, ask yourself, “I wonder what it’s* going to look at next?” Then wait and watch. Movement will happen eventually. When it does, allow that sense of curiosity to return. “Now what’s it* going to do?” Notice how your mind doesn't need to be in control for action to occur.

Spend some time with this and you can build more trust in just allowing. Use it the next time you go to the store. “I wonder which aisle it’s going to go down?” “I wonder what it will pick up next?” Wonder is the optimum word here. Just wonder at how Life does what it needs to do without you needing to think about it. “I wonder what it* will think of next?” is another interesting thing to ask. You never know, nor can you control, what thought is going to pop in your head next. But there is value in watching the mind just like you watch the body in this way of wonder.

In this exercise you are engaged in active and attentive waiting. This creates stillness even when there is movement and directs your attention to the present moment.The deeper you go into the present moment, the deeper the sense of wonder gets. You can then connect with the mystical impulse of Life that makes things happen. That impulse is ever present but can only be appreciated when thought isn’t covering it up. You can uncover it by letting Life move you instead of you trying to move it. Where is this thing going? We can’t know until we’re here.

* By the way, referring to the body/mind as an IT is a good way to create some space around who you think you are so you can pay more attention to what you really are -- Life itself.